When I was baptized again, there was new meaning, new identity, new loyalty to be ONLY His. Last night, God put lyrics in my heart to express my experience that day, so I wrote them down this morning. Enjoy!
What happens when the prostitute dies?
Life begins…Life begins
What happens when the stripper dies?
Life begins…Life begins
Identity came like a rushing wind
Blowing who I was away
A desire to be HIS was born
That desire leaked into my son
“Mommy, can I get baptized?”
“Follow me…trust me because I trust HIM.”
Shirt picked out
Ring on my right hand
Ready to be wed!
Walking down the aisle through water
Bridegroom watching from within
Ceremony rushes over my face
Raised – the honeymoon of heaven begins
Ring on my left hand
My son walks in
His tears flowing with the water
I have a lot of “favorites” in the Bible. If you know me, you’ve heard me say, “That’s my favorite book” or “That’s my favorite Scripture.” The truth is, it’s ALL my favorite because God spoke it. But from the moment I first read Psalm 139, it has been my favorite…for real. It described how I wanted to feel about myself. In it, God would describe my beauty, how I was meant to look, how I was marvelous, but I would cry out to Him because I didn’t feel any of that. How could I be marvelous when _________? That would be the response in my mind (and sometimes aloud). I would pray that I would believe it someday.
Part of the power of worshiping with flags for me is that it reveals my beauty. Because of my past, I haven’t felt beautiful. What I’m discovering is that beauty isn’t a feeling. Beauty is known in your heart, but it almost seems like God gave me a ‘feeling’ to penetrate into my heart, so when I first danced with a flag, I ‘felt’ His heat (probably His consuming fire) flowing through me, melting every stronghold I had of ugliness. Since then, my heart has been open to His Truth. When His Truth became my reality, I was able to see beauty in my reflection. My eye is the lamp to my soul, so depending on what my soul believes is what I’ll see. I now know in my heart that I am beautiful.
Anyway, a friend gave me a special flag the other day, a beautiful iridescent one. It’s gorgeous…so gorgeous that the desire of my heart was to worship with it at Sunset Cliffs, so on Friday morning (8/8/14), before work, I went to Sunset Cliffs. On my way there, I felt like I was on my way to a date with God. I was worshiping, crying, believing. It was beautiful! My desire was to fly this flag to God’s breath on my life, and that’s what I did. I thanked Him so much for who I am in Him. In the past, I read this book, and it explained how when you see something beautiful, it’s God reminding you of how beautiful you are to Him. As I was worshiping Him, I was watching this flag, admiring its beauty, and I had the revelation that God was admiring me and my beauty. These flags reflect my beauty. That’s why they are so empowering to me. God is working through them in a mighty way.
When I was done, I sat in the car and was drawn to Psalm 139. I only read verses one through six. After each verse, I would stop and pray, thanking God that that was a truth in my life…so powerful! I was weeping because, finally, this Truth of His was my reality. Right now, I’m only able to read and pray each verse, but I can’t wait until I get to the part where He talks about how I was formed and how marvelous I am. Now that I believe it, I can’t even imagine the impact it will have.
We are all beautiful, handsome, gorgeous creatures. His word created us, saved us, and will keep us for eternity. How awesome is that!
(I didn’t have my phone to take a picture of where I was at, but I found the below picture online. If you look at the cliff on the left-hand side, that’s the idea of where I was standing, worshiping God with this beautiful, iridescent flag.)