Warning: Long post about abortion!

I love my kids dearly and love to talk about how our relationships have healed and grown, but this morning, I want to talk about the few who didn’t make it.

When I was in high school, I got pregnant. If I remember correctly, I was seventeen. I won’t give too many details about this time of my life because it was heartbreaking, and I still haven’t figured out how to write about family without offending family. I know, I know…I need to get over that, but until I do, I’ll leave what was going on in my life out. I’ll just tell you a few things.

I was living with my sisters.
I was in my senior year.
I was sleeping with (at least) two different people.

Needless to say, the possible fathers didn’t want the baby. I was going to school and working to pay the rent. And on top of all that, I had been throwing up about seven times a day. It was too much for me, so I decided to have an abortion. Continue reading

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“Trails”

Being drained and exhausted
Yet wide awake from writing a paper
Leaves one to wonder the strangest things

Like what’s it all for
Anyway
I mean, you work so hard
For what may not happen

Then my thoughts trail off
To the past

Like why would you want
To sleep with me
Yet not get to know me
Not spend time with me

They really missed out

Then my thoughts trail off
To tomorrow

Like how I’ll dress to impress
Those higher than me from out of town
Make my hair look nice
And fix my makeup

But they don’t wanna know me either

Then my thoughts trail off
To this moment

Where the Presence of God
Fills my lungs
And every part of Him
Knows and Loves every part of me

To be known by Him
Is to be unknown to the world
And that’s the best place to be