“Butterfly Effect”

A beautiful heart
can be misunderstood
at any given moment

A heart that loves wholly
can be taken romantically
when it wasn’t given that way

Where are the times
of close friendships
or have those times ended

Love can be such a beautiful thing
yet at the same time
it can cause such heartache

I dance to dance
not to be danced with

I love to love
not to be loved

I listen to hear
not to be heard

I talk to communicate
not to flirt

This open little butterfly heart
wants to fly back in the cocoon
but I guess that’d be like
entering back in the womb

So I’ll continue to dance
to love
to listen and talk
and continue causing heartache
along the way

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“Proof”

the most memorable moments
are the one-on-one times
I get to share with ladies

moments of remembering
the road leading up to
and carrying on in recovery

those moments in sharing
when gentle tears rise inside
remorseful of what I’ve done

of who I was

gentle tears of healing
for both her
and me

tears of being thankful
of who I am now
and what I now do

I’m a living, breathing testimony
of one who has recovered
from a hopeless state of mind

and I’m living proof
that a life lived in God
is one worth living

It’s never too late to grow up!

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had bad credit, yet I’ve never owned a credit card. My low standing has always been from no credit (which is sometimes worse) and outstanding hospital bills and such. Well, the bill part’s been paid off for awhile, but the no credit part has always lingered.

From time to time, I’d apply for different credit opportunities at “Victoria Secret,” “Discount Tire,” “Target,” etc., and ever time, I was declined, and I’ve never really needed to do anything about it, until recently.

Back in December, I had the chance to go to New York with Kyle, but I had to buy my own plane tickets. Well, that wasn’t going to happen because I continually live paycheck to paycheck. Thankfully, a friend of mine put the tickets on her credit card, and I’m paying her back, but it got me thinking, “I need to work on my credit, just in case things like this come up,” so I made a vow to myself to do just that.

In January, I looked online for ways to bring up your credit score, and time and time again, I saw that it was helpful to have a credit card, so I put my thoughts on the back burner, until last week, when my bank sent me an email.

In the email, they said I could, now, check my credit score through my account. When I clicked on the link, I found my credit score was in the red, a whopping 557 (those of you who know about credit scores know that that’s a low one). Upon seeing that number, I emailed the bank about my chances of obtaining a credit card.

After being forwarded three times, I was told that the credit application process would go through a third party and that the bank wouldn’t have any say so in the matter, so I’d given up, but then, something changed.

That night, after my shift (at ten of clock at night), I decided, “What the hay, Laura! Just try it!”, so I went online and applied, and within seconds, I was approved for my very first credit card ever!

It has a limit of five hundred dollars and will be used for gas, and every month, I’ll set aside my gas money to pay it off. In no time at all, I’ll have credit in the green, instead of in the red.

Anyway, there’s my “growing up” story for you! I wanted to share it with you but wanted to have the card in hand FIRST!!20180220_105021

“Confidence” (or Godfidence)

one God
one love
one moment
one peace

having entered in
I can walk through trials of fire
and not get burned

I can swim through waters of life
and never drown

when winds of change flow through me
they lift me up, never knock me down

obstacles
hardships
loneliness
are simply opportunities
to love Him more

every day I walk taller
knowing Who He is
and who I am inside His heart

“The Stage”

thank You for saving me
from the stage of my past

redeemed
restored
into someone new
loved head to toe

when I look back
I can’t even recognize
the “me” I used to be

I’ve been reborn
in life
in character
in nature

the me I see now
is enveloped in You
and who I’m meant to be
is still being fashioned

through trials
through fire
through Love

shining through it all
I trust You
I lean on You
I fall back into You

leaving imprints of love
with those I’m blessed to meet