Earlier this month, I went on a mission trip to the dump in Tecate, Mexico. I shared this story on Facebook but thought it’d be nice to share it here. God’s Love flowing through people will change the world one prayer at a time, one smile at a time, one moment at a time…Love…
At the dump, I met this beautiful man, Raul. He was standing in line to receive a second helping of food. In person, he was a lot dirtier than he appears in this picture. He had a sadness in his eyes, but underneath, there was hope. He spoke very little English, and I spoke very little Spanish, but God spoke, clearly, to his heart.
As we were talking, I asked him if I could pray for him. He said, “Yes,” so I did. In this prayer, God was speaking a lot of life and power and hope into him. I showed him the words on my shirt: “Change the World.” I told him God was going to use him to change the world, starting in the dump. He was so overwhelmed, he moved out of line to sit down. I didn’t catch on to what was happening. I went to see if he was okay and offered to stand in line for him. He took me up on that offer.
As I held his place, a woman mentioned his reaction to what I was saying to him. He had almost dropped his plate. God was at work in him. In his heart, a fire was ignited. When he joined me in line, he agreed to start praying for others in the dump. He agreed to start changing the world. He asked if I would come back. I told him, “Yes. Listen for my laugh, and when you hear it, say, “Ah, there’s Laura.”” He was one of the many friends I had the privilege of meeting and hugging at the dump.
In 2009, I actually started to “read” my bible and fell in love with God, but I was in this uncomfortable state of wanting to live for him and sleeping around. The two just do not go hand in hand, so I would ask for prayer to stop having sex, and it finally worked.
On July 21, 2009, I made a decision in my heart to devote my body to God and informed the men I had been sleeping with. When I focused on God, He was pouring into me like crazy. A funny analogy to go with that was revealed to me right away. When I was a little girl, I was on the swim team. To gain the fastest head-start, it was best to have a clean dive from the get-go. My legs would always open, there would be a splash, which would slow down my momentum. They would constantly say to me, “When you dive in, close your legs.” That was SO true then and applied to my life in 2009. When I closed my legs, I was able to dive into His Word at full speed.
Last night, I felt led to look in my journal for a particular entry to share, and when I realized the date, I was reminded of the above analogy. Isn’t it crazy what time spent with God will do! Five years ago, these would not have been the desires of my heart, but because I’m fully yielded to Him, my desires line up with the calling He has on my life.
***Journal Entry on July 21, 2014 at 11:16 am***
The desires of my heart:
To make worship flags
To dance with them
To play the violin
To write a book
To reach more people
To love my kids well
To have a husband
To write psalms
If I sat down with you and told you about my past, you may be tempted to wonder how I could feel pure. Looking at my life through the worlds eyes would reveal a lot of questions. Looking at my life through the eyes of Jesus reveals a lot of answers.
To express the measure of purity I feel will be noticeable in this one statement: I don’t even want to be kissed until my wedding day. Does that sound crazy? To the world, yes. To God, no. I have sought God through Jesus to find my identity, and in doing that, I’ve discovered what a treasure I am. Is that arrogant? No. Is that confidence? Absolutely! I am confident in who I am in Christ, and I want to be treated that way.
I was talking to a man on the street about my desire not be kissed until my wedding day, and he didn’t think that withholding my sexual desires from coming out was healthy. I told him that it is very healthy. You see, to the world, heaven doesn’t make sense, Kingdom living doesn’t make sense, purity doesn’t make sense. To God, I bet it makes perfect sense. After going back and forth in discussion, I told this man that he wouldn’t be able to change my mind. No one will be able to change my mind or my heart, not even my future husband.
I’ve even shared my purity with other Christians and have not always received positive feedback. This purity is something I will fight for. I don’t want to marry a man because of the way he kisses or the way he makes me feel when we kiss. I want to marry a man because his heart shines with God’s love. I believe if I fall in love with a man, no matter what, kissing will be amazing, so why not save it for an amazing wedding night.
I’m not out to please anyone but God. I’m truly glad that I listen to the voice of His heart and not the voice of man’s mind. Everything I feel and believe about myself right now was never known to me through life: I have value; I am beautiful; I feel like a virgin; I am a gift, not to be opened; I’m a treasure; I am worth the wait; I am elegant…every morning, I have the pleasure of waking up to who I am, and I’m excited to live out every day through Him!