Day: December 27, 2014

Paralyzing Love

| Laura Lee Bonde

Have you ever been paralyzed by fear? On Christmas Eve, I found myself paralyzed by love.

As most of you know, throughout the years, God has been restoring a beautiful bond between me and my kids. This year, there has been an acceleration. One very important holiday to my kids is Christmas, especially Christmas Eve.

When Katie, my twenty-two year old, heard me talking about taking Christmas to the people of the dump in Mexico, she said (in anger), “We’ll just have Christmas Eve without you!” I said, “Katie, I’ll be back in time for us to be together in the evening.” That seemed to diffuse the bomb, so it was VERY important for me to get back in time.

It’s not that we DO anything special. We’re just together, so I was needing to be back in the evening, the earlier the better. And this is the best part: we all go to sleep at the same time in the same room. We fall asleep giggling, talking, laughing, planning out our morning, etc. And we all wake up in the same way: talking, giggling, laughing…it’s the earliest my kids EVER wake up together. We walk out into the living room together. We’re just “together.”

So, I “thought” I trusted God and headed to Mexico. The plan was to leave the dump at 3:30 pm. Well, the plan changed. The Tecate border wouldn’t let our bus pass through. The Otay border wouldn’t let our bus pass through. Each time took hours because once we heard we couldn’t get through, we had to turn around and go through customs to enter back into America. The third border, San Ysidro, let us through. This was a great joy to everyone but me.

By this time, it was 2 pm. We would barely make it to the dump by 3 pm, so our 3:30 departure was out of the question. Now, it was a play-it-by-ear schedule. I had a decision to make: I would either cross the border on foot back into America, grab the trolley, and make it back to my kids, or I would board the bus and head to the dump. I was literally standing at the ramp. All of me wanted to turn around and be love for my kids, and all of me wanted to journey forward and be love to the lost. I wept. I was, without a doubt, paralyzed by love.

Janel grabbed hold of me and began to pray. She promised to get me back to the border. She wanted me to go forward to the dump. As she prayed, I wept. Just remembering it is bringing me to tears. I made a choice and stepped onto the bus.

God had a plan, and I was in it. I enjoyed serving Him at the dump and made it back in time for my kids. That night, we all went to bed at the same time in the same room and talked, giggled, laughed. Even Nathan said, “I wish we could talk all night.” It was so precious. I love these moments because they remind me that there isn’t any room for a man in my life. The coolest part is that we all woke up at the same time but were all lying there because we didn’t know if the others were awake. Then, Kyle spoke…then Katie…then Nathan…then me…and then Carolyn.

I love my God. I love my kids. I love my life. I love my story. I love that God is holding the pen and doesn’t have any reason to set it down. I am yielded to Him. At times, I experience loneliness, but I have my prayer warriors who lift me out of that.

There for One

| Laura Lee Bonde

On Christmas Eve, a bunch of us went to Mexico to take some Christmas joy to the residents of one of the dumps. It was quite amazing. The place was full of people, but I believe God had me there for one in particular.

When the bus unloaded and we headed down towards the Christmas tree with all our bags, I heard the distant sound of mariachi music, and my heart began to dance. I couldn’t wait to let my body join in with my heart.

As I approached, I saw Phillip, dropped my bags, and ran to give him a hug. He was excited to see me. (Not many people smile there. I’m not sure if it’s because they are without joy or if it’s because they have bad teeth. We should probably take them some toothbrushes and toothpaste.) We hugged. I spoke a little in English. He spoke a little in Spanish, and then, I ate. What do you know! The trash can was next to the mariachi band. That was SO God. I threw away my plate and started dancing with the only man out there.

10403054_10203623588889898_2401755518315701031_nHis name was Ezekiel. The bus had arrived AFTER the mariachi band, and apparently, this gentleman had already been dancing. As it turns out, God had me there to be his partner.

We danced and danced. He really “knew” what he was doing. I was just hopping around. It was so fun to watch him enjoy this moment in life. It seemed like he had stopped dancing years ago and had been waiting to let it out, which he did! After dancing a few songs, we talked.

He spoke pretty good English. He told me, “I don’t know what’s wrong with everybody. Nobody wants to dance, except you. Thank you for dancing with me.” I prayed over him and spoke a prophetic word into his heart. God revealed that he had the anointing of a lion. Actually, his home was at the top of the hill. He said he protects everyone, watches over them, because there are bad people that try to come after them to take their belongings…very neat man. He’s been there three years.

Near the end of praying, he said, “Can I give you something?” I said, “YOU want to give ME something?” For a moment, I was baffled. What could he want to give me. He asked again, “Can I give you something? If I give you something, will you take it?” I said, “Yes, I will take it.”

He took off his cross necklace and placed it over my head and set it around my neck. AMAZING!10403054_10203623588889898_2401755518315701031_n (2)

To me, this was so HUGE: a man who had very little gave me something so valuable. I will keep it forever. He told me that the greatest Christmas gift he could have ever received was someone to dance with him. It was funny: at one point, he tried to dance with me as a partner. Then, he let go to dance solo and said, “It’s better this way.” That made me laugh.

Do you know how huge all of this is? There’s a past that existed where I was a stripper and used my dancing to get what I wanted. Now, that past is dead, and every moment, God is creating a new past. This one is full of Him using my dancing to bless people. Ezekiel was blessed, and I was glad that God was able to use me to dance.