Month: January 2015

God Knit Me for Today

| Laura Lee Bonde

Wow! That could be a title for any day, but it sure has a special meaning for me today. Before I opened my eyes, before I woke up, I heard ‘Happy Birthday’ from God. I love God so much, and how much He’s changed me is miraculous! I’m glad He made me, saved me, restored me, loved me on purpose.

Throughout the years, different dates have grabbed my attention: my sobriety date, my born again date, etc, but this year, my birth date is more precious to me than any of those. I’ve thought about God’s purpose, and what I mean by that is that He created me on purpose. He chose the twenty-first of January as my entrance into the world. Even more so than that, He chose the mother to knit me inside of: Denise Holt.

Mom, thank you for being a vessel of God’s love. I am so glad that God chose you, that God chose your womb, as a secret place for me to be formed in. In you, He created my laugh. In you, He created my heart that loves so deeply. In you, He created my smile with an everlasting joy in His heart. In you, He created me, and I am so glad He chose YOU to be my mommy. I wish all my friends could meet you. I wish I could see you. I miss you. I love you. And I’m determined to wrap my arms around you this year. I don’t know “how” it will happen. I just know it WILL.

Hoping for a House Call

| Laura Lee Bonde

Yesterday in the park, God just brought people to me. I don’t know why it amazes me every time. It’s so His Character. He wants people to experience His nonjudgmental Love.

As soon as I sat down, I met a woman named Sandy. She was from Oakland (naturally blessed because she’s a Raiders fan). We began talking about her dog, her visit, her kids, and I told her what I do in the park daily. She liked that. Then, she opened up.

She told me that just the other day, she woke up with the thought that she’s wasted her life, that she hadn’t done well with the time that God had given her. I spoke into her heart how much God loves her, and that it’s never to late. When I asked if she’d like prayer for anything, she mentioned her son, who has an incurable sickness going on. Guess where he lives? Imperial Beach. I offered to go to him to pray over him. She said in surprise, “You’d do that?” I said, “Of Course!” She took my phone number for him. I hope he calls.

After I prayed for her, a homeless man named Dan came up. He was commenting on Sandy’s dog. I asked him questions about his life, his homelessness, his dog. At one point, he served our country oversees. As he was sharing, he stated that it was most important for him to feed his wife, his dog, and then himself. He showed me the food he’d found in the dumpster. He said, “People throw away perfectly good food all the time.” I offered him the candy canes I had in my pocket, but he said he needed to watch his figure.

He let me know where they sleep in the park. I’ll be walking with a friend today, so I’ll see if we can go visit them. God is so good! He loves so deeply, so uniquely. I love that he always has me around dogs. He’s softening my heart towards them, and it’s working.

A Modern Day Mary Magdalene

| Laura Lee Bonde

My weekend with God was amazing! At first, I was fasting, but when I woke up Saturday morning, God told me, “I want to spoil you. I want you to eat.” My first thought was, “I wonder if breakfast is still going on.” My second thought was, “Of course it is! You just invited me to eat.” Breakfast was being served, and it was super yummy.

This was the most restful retreat ever! I constantly had my soaking music playing. I prayed, read, wrote, slept, and ate…in that order every time. One of the things I had prayed for and studied into was a revelation of the power and authority I am able to walk in. I had just read Luke 9:1 and was getting ready to read chapter eight, when I went to eat dinner.

As I sat down with my dinner on Saturday evening, I met a couple of gentlemen who sat at the same table with me. (There were a couple of youth and college retreats going on.) In conversation, we found out that we (one of the men and I) were both leaders and started talking about leadership. When he found out about JC’s Girls, he was amazed.

This past year, I’ve learned to only share about my past when led by the Holy Ghost. This was one of those times. I began sharing about what God had brought me out of: the stripping, the selling my body, etc.,…he was amazed. I then shared with him about what purity meant to me, that – even though I’ve slept with over one hundred men – I don’t want to be kissed until my wedding day. He just marveled. (I offered to come and speak to his college group about purity. That would be cool.)

As he listened to me share, he said, “Wow! A modern day Mary Magdalene…you don’t see that very often, when someone with your past gets totally freed.” I shared with him about dancing with flags, what God has redeemed through that, showed them both the flags, and gave him my card. He said, “What a powerful ministry: Mary Magdalene Ministries. Thank you for sharing your testimony. That’s power! I’m going to be speaking about you.”

They left, and I sat there and cried. What God has done with me is amazing! The reason there is power in my testimony is because I know my identity. Nothing form my past will ever stop me from walking in who I am. Actually, I speak of “a” past, but it’s not “my” past. My past was buried forever. Every day, I’m creating a new past, and it’s glorious!

I went back to my room to read up on Mary Magdalene. Guess where you can find her? Luke 8, the very chapter I was about to read!! I cried some more.

On Sunday morning, that same gentleman asked if he could continue using my testimony. I told him he could use me forever.

Meet Emil

| Laura Lee Bonde
Me and Emil 1-15-15
Me and Emil 1-15-15

This is my friend from the bus stop outside of my work. When I first met him a few months ago, he was grumpy. Look at him now!!

Since the first day I met him, what’s happened?

He let me bless him.
He let me pray over him.
Prayers were answered…freaked him out.
He almost died.
He was placed in a home.
He believes in God.
Transformation.

Over time, I’ve talked with him, laughed with him, loved him. We’ve become friends. He is the sweetest man! He used to be grumpy. Now, he’s not. I never know when I will catch him at the bus stop. Yesterday, I was so happy and surprised to see him, and he felt the same way about seeing me. I rarely have my phone on me at work, so after we talked for a little, I ran in and grabbed my friend to take a picture of us. I’m so glad because in case I never see him again, I will always have this picture!

Jesus is Lord

| Laura Lee Bonde

Sometimes, I make the kids laugh, but last night, I had the little ones cracking up. Here’s why:

Yesterday, as I was heading out on my lunch break, I asked the Holy Ghost where to walk. Then, I set off with the heartbeat of Jesus as my pace. I was telling Him I wanted to look like Him, talk like Him, hear like Him, smell like Him…I wanted to attract like He would.

As I walked on this one path, I started praying against twisted mindsets and saw two squirrels, so I decided to stop and talk to them. (This is where the kids started cracking up.) I told the squirrels, “Jesus is Lord.” Then I thought, “You probably already knew that.” From behind, I heard the crackling of leaves under footsteps. I realized I was talking to squirrels, so I turned to walk away, but this gentleman was approaching me, so I turned back around to meet him.

Within a minute, he told me that he had just suffered two heart attacks within a week. I was so excited that Holy Ghost had brought him on that path. I listened to him explain what had happened, how two stents were put in, how this had been the first time he’d been out and about since.

I asked him if I could pray for him. He said yes but stopped me to let me know that he didn’t believe in anything, that he was very “spiritual” but didn’t believe in Jesus, Buddha or anything else, but he said, “You can pray in whatever energy you believe.” I said, “I believe Jesus is Lord, and whether you believe or not, He’s still Lord. You don’t have to believe in anything. It’s me believing in my heart and praying through faith that will bring healing.” I touched his heart and prayed. Afterward, he said, “That’s good energy.”

He explained how his name was Michael because his mom had named him after the archangel. He thanked me, and we went our separate ways.

Later, I was blessed to pray for a woman who had the habit of putting everyone else first but hadn’t been caring about herself. I love how God cares so much to teach everyone their worth. She said that she’s always been protective of others but never protected herself. God touched her heart in an amazing way!

God loves so deeply. I can’t even imagine living apart from His Love.

Kneeling

| Laura Lee Bonde

Yesterday, the neatest things happened. (I love how the “neatest things” happen daily. It makes the morning so exciting.) It all started on the way to work in my prayer time.

In the early morning, I heard a pastor sharing about his amazing time with God in his bedroom with the door closed, kneeling, laying before Jesus…just a sweet time. The first reaction in my heart was ‘I wish I had my own room.’ (I share a room with my kids.) Anyway, I continued on with my morning and left for work.

As I was driving down the road, listening to worship, I began praying. I was thanking God for the cross…all that was accomplished. All of a sudden, my knees began burning with this cooling sensation, like Icy Hot. It was amazing! Immediately, I KNEW it was God, so I shut off the CD, turned off my ear piece, tossed my phone and started thanking Him, and I asked Him what it was for. He explained.

God revealed to me that kneeling isn’t the position of your body; it’s the position of your heart, and the way I was communing with Him at that moment was the expression of the kneeling of my heart. I was undone. He told me more, but those things are private…just between me and Him. (By the way, the burning in my knees last two hours!)

I was just enjoying His Presence, arrived near work, parked, and started walking. I was having the best time with Him. As I was walking down the sidewalk, I made eye contact with a homeless man named Rick.

At first, he was hesitant to reveal his name, but after I told him mine, he softened. He extended his hand as if to shake mine and stopped. He said he didn’t want to get my germs and didn’t want to give me his, so we fist pounded. [Will I ever feel comfortable doing that?]

He went on to tell me that he didn’t want to get sick, that he had enough problems with arthritis and COPD. I said, “Hey, God loves you and wants to get rid of that. Can I pray for you?” He started crying. He said, “Forget that. Pray for the alcohol to leave.” I melted, literally. I knelt at his feet and listened. He poured out his heart, the oppression, the strong hold he was trapped in. I just listened.

Right then, a resident came down the stairs to leave and said hi to Rick. Rick called him by name and said hi back. (He must’ve been a regular on those steps.) Rick was telling him what was going on and how I was praying for him, and he said something funny, which made me laugh. He said, “But I don’t like her laugh though.” It was hilarious. I told him my laugh is like tequila: you either love it or hate it. He smiled.

As I was praying, he was weeping. It was an amazing encounter with God. We said good-bye, and I went on to work. As I was walking with God, it dawned on me: I just got to “kneel” at his feet. It was just a cool realization of kneeling in my heart and kneeling on the ground. God is so good!

I love it when I’m able to “feel” God’s touch, and I’m glad I don’t “need” that to know He’s there. I don’t “need” a room with the door closed. I need an open heart with eyes ready to see all that God wants to do. No one can take away what I have with Him. Actually, even the loneliness has gone away. I’m taken. I’m loved. I’m favored. I’m used. Hallelujah!

God’s Play Date: 1/10/15

| Laura Lee Bonde

Lately, it seems like I’ve been attempting to make my own plans without checking with God, but it doesn’t look like I ever have to worry because God will move things around to get me right where He wants me to be. If I’m walking with Him closely every day, everywhere is a good place to be. On Saturday, my place was at the dump.God’s Play Date: 1/10/15

Lately, it seems like I’ve been attempting to make my own plans without checking with God, but it doesn’t look like I ever have to worry because God will move things around to get me right where He wants me to be. If I’m walking with Him closely every day, everywhere is a good place to be. On Saturday, my place was at the dump.

At first, I wasn’t going to go. I had tentative plans to do something else, which would’ve brought God glory, but it would’ve been some place else. At the last minute, those plans were changed, so I said, “Yes” to going to the dump. What a blessing!

At the dump, there were so many kids who wanted to play. I was helping out the team that was putting together a play-set, and before anything was bolted down, the kids started playing. They couldn’t even control themselves, nor did they want to. That’s how I want to be with God’s love: uncontrollable.

This one little girl grew attached to me. I would tell you her name, but I forgot to ask. In Spanish, she would ask me to play. In English, I would play with her. It was that simple, that pure…so much fun. She would get on the monkey bars (I think that’s what they’re called), but she wasn’t big enough to carry herself across, so I would hold onto her legs and walk under her until she reached the other side. She wanted to do this over and over again. She was so happy.

10614229_10203789417195502_4497315076419453854_n (2)Then, she pulled me along to go down the slide with her. She was so precious, was having so much fun. Near the end, she saw the basketball hoop and the basketball. She wanted to make a basket so badly, so I would lift her up and hold her there while she threw the ball up. We must’ve attempted this like ten times. She never made a basket because I just couldn’t lift her high enough, but it didn’t matter. We both laughed together so much. Laughter breaks down barriers, demolishes walls, reveals strongholds. Laughter can speak louder than words.

I’m so glad I went to the dump, but more than that, I’m so glad that my heart is usable by God. His love for this little girl was so strong that He had me there to play with her. We were each there for a specific reason. I hope each person received a revelation of God’s love for them and for those they served. He’s so amazing! I’m just excited to live!!

Laugh Out Loud

| Laura Lee Bonde

Tonight, I went to the movie theater with Carolyn because I had two free tickets to use. We went to see “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay.” The previews were hilarious…a little too funny.

If you know me, I have a rather loud laugh. Well, unannounced, it comes out of my mouth, and there were a lot of funny scenes in these previews, so I was laughing a lot. There are times where I’ve learned to hold it back, but a movie theater isn’t one of those times I feel it’s needed, so if something’s found funny to me, I laugh. It’s just the way it works.

There was a scene that was SO funny that this loud laugh came out of me…uncontrollable, and these two women sitting one row below us and about four seats over leaned way forward, gave me the dirtiest looks, and said, “Are you serious?!!” They were SO rude about it and made us feel so uncomfortable that my daughter and I got up to leave. There was no way I could sit there and not laugh, and I certainly didn’t want to get into a fight, so we left.

I went to the front, explained the situation, and asked for two free tickets for another time. With no questions asked, they gave them to me. As we walked outside, I began to cry because…well, just because, but then, I pictured the scene on the movie screen that had made me laugh, and I started busting up, laughing. Carolyn was so confused. She didn’t know what was going on.

When I could speak through the laughter, I told her, “All I keep picturing is that scene with the gun,” and she started laughing hysterically. The beautiful part of all this is that, before the movie, Carolyn had been grumpy, yet because of all this, we ended up laughing all the way home. We bonded so closely. We still want to see that movie. We just want the freedom to laugh during it. I love God, and I love the laugh He gave me, and I pray those ladies learn to love laughter someday.

The Joy of the Lord

| Laura Lee Bonde

On Wednesday, a woman asked if I’d be willing to pray for a young man who wanted to get off heroine. Of course I was willing, so yesterday, the three of us went walking in the park, and God did some amazing things (of course), and it all started with a little joy.

As I was getting ready for work, I had an outfit planned out, and at the last moment, God informed me of wearing something totally different, so I did. I wore jeans, a green plaid shirt, and a white tank-top. That doesn’t “seem” important, but it is. I don’t “normally” dress like that. It was something I wore once to a country-western thing, but God knew what He was doing.

At lunchtime, I was on the street, looking for my friends (not knowing what the vehicle looked like). I spotted a young man who was sitting in the passenger seat who glanced my way, so I knew it was him and started walking toward the van. He got out with really no expression on his face. As my friend walked around from the other side of the van, I saw what she was wearing: jeans, a red plaid shirt, and a white tank-top. I laughed so loud (and if you know me, you KNOW my laugh was LOUD). And guess what my laugh did…put a smile on the young man’s face.

Not only did it put a smile on his face but out came a giggle. God is so creative!! His love for this young man was so strong that He changed my outfit to have me match my friend, “knowing” that it would crack me up and bring a smile to his face, so our meeting started out with an overflow of Joy. How amazing is that!

God is amazing! His truth demolishes heroine’s assignment. His love covers all sin. He holds no record. We all have a created value. It’s just about learning it, believing it, and knowing it. When THAT created value becomes our identity, THAT’s what scares the devil; he’s freaked out that we will someday KNOW who we are and what we’re here to do. Well, for me, that day has come. Yay, God!