[written 10/12/16]
there’re just some things
in this mommy heart
that can’t be avoided
and ‘i’m sorry’ seems to be
the only words that comfort
the only words that fit
I know
things’ll get better
I know
it’ll just take time
I know
it’ll be okay
tell me something
I don’t know
and maybe
just maybe
I’ll feel better
until then
I miss my son
and even after then
I’ll still miss him
[written 10/9/16]
sometimes
I wonder
“if I’d done
EVERYTHING right
would things be
different?”
but then THAT
makes me wonder
“if I’d done
everything right
would I be
who I am?”
who I am
is pretty amazing
so trying to
change the past
seems
pointless
In AA, you share your experience, strength, and hope. Well, while I was in San Diego, celebrating my sobriety at a meeting, a woman came empty and left complete. Here’s what happened:
Yesterday morning (10/7), my friend, Jimbo, gave me my 11 year token, and as I was sharing, I talked about life, Jesus, and freedom from depression, and after I sat down, a woman approached me and asked if I’d pray for her after the meeting, so I did.
As we were talking, she said she wanted to know about my God, so I told her about Jesus, and guess what? Now, she KNOWS my God: she entered in to the heart of Jesus!!
You know, everyone has their own choice in which path to walk on, so I’m glad there’s freedom to share about what we believe, just in case anyone else’d like to follow.
Before I write…my son hasn’t passed away; he’s moved away.
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind, and I’ll take you through it for two reasons: one…to bring you up to speed, and two…so I’ll remember for one of my books. Continue reading
I love pictures; they lie so well!
just a moment to write a poem
about me
about him
the one who wears a mask
all the time
yet takes it off for others
or does he only wear a mask
when others are around
I used to be
one of those others
but now
I just don’t know
those who’ve heard my cries
no longer believe
in just one night
have I been made wrong?
For the past week or so, I’ve been “mia” because I drove my son back to San Diego to live with his dad. From Harlingen, TX to San Diego, CA was a long drive, but driving back without him was even longer.
Soon, I’ll catch up on my blog, but for now, just know I’m “okay.” Not great. Not fantastical. Just okay.
Okay, so, I like words and definitions, and almost every day, I look up at least one word, and when I find out the meaning, a deeper revelation comes about what I’d been searching. Well, tonight, I looked up the word “family” and began to cry.
family:: a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.
If you know me and know what I’m going through, you’ll know why I cried. [We leave in the morning.]
If you don’t know what I’m going through, don’t worry about it because there’s too much to explain.
when I close my eyes
beauty comes easy
from God’s heart through
mine
but when I open my eyes
I see my son leaving
and part of that beauty
fades
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 