aging

“Grab a Shovel”

| Laura Lee Bonde

some people wonder where I am
inside
because I’ve been hidden away
in silence
here’s an honest poem
to let you in

when I see my reflection
it’s hard to see my beauty
and it seems every day
I’m disgusted with my weight

sometimes
I cry on the outside
but more often than not
I cry inside

I’m in that transition where
nothing seems right
but everything seems
how it should be

it’s easier to stay hidden
than expose how I am
so I smile for the camera
and cringe

my stubbornness looks
for the answers alone
because with Him
nothing has power to affect

but as you can tell
I may need some help
but only from friends
who don’t judge

the power to overcome
lives inside of me
but somehow (at times)
it seems buried

“In Sight Full”

| Laura Lee Bonde

in heaven
I bet there won’t be mirrors
because we’ll be see thru
so why not start here

in sight
is my body
full figured
hanging skin
wrinkles forming
resemblance

outta sight
is my soul
good parts and
bad
renewed and
old

which leaves
my spirit
Free to move
Free to laugh
Free to be love
and soar

I’m not sure
what makes it to heaven
the only thing dying
will be the outside
leaving the goodness of my soul
and spirit

to see through

bringing heaven on earth
through transparency
writing out bad
to get to the good
so the enemy of mirrors
won’t haunt me

and because of the effect
it has here on earth
I KNOW there’ll be laughter
in heaven

“Do You See What I See?”

| Laura Lee Bonde

I know you don’t
because when I look in the mirror
I cry

I see my profile
my weight
my self
and I cry

I just want someone
to see me
from the outside

each profile
from the neck down
from the neck up
from the front
the back
the sides
and tell me that
I’m beautiful

but convince me

or deliver me from
the darkness
that tells lies

“Looking Back at Me”

| Laura Lee Bonde

when I look at myself
some times
I see the past
some times
I see the present

the weight I’ve gained
the parts that are aging
the gray
but then I think of the kids
and what they see

they see the mother they looked to
while breastfeeding
they see the profile of the mommy
who used to burp them
they see the beauty of the one
who’s made them smile
they see the comforting arms
that’ve held them
they see the lap they used to lay on
while watching movies
they see the hands of the woman
who has led them
they see the eyes and the face
of who’s always loved them

age doesn’t stick out to them
because they’re aging too
and we’re still growing
as a family
in the soil of love

“Fragment of Time”

| Laura Lee Bonde

beauty
wrinkles
dance on one’s face
to the rhythm of a smile
ageless time
breathes by moment to moment
creating a view all its own
the appearance of change
may tremble one’s heart
but the beauty of age
has a time of its own
wrinkles
beauty