“My Reflection”

As you go through life
It’s not so much
You learn who you are
It’s much more like
You learn who you’re not
Which reveals who you are

I mean
I know who I am in Christ
But I still learn more about myself
Every week
Which tends to reveal
More of who I’m not

I’m a woman with integrity
One to be remembered and thought of
Not to be put on a shelf
Or under a table
I’m worth hearing and knowing
I’m kind and courageous

As time goes by
I’ll learn more and more
Never to disappoint myself
In who I find myself to be
But always with excitement
Discovering who I’m not

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“Grab a Shovel”

some people wonder where I am
inside
because I’ve been hidden away
in silence
here’s an honest poem
to let you in

when I see my reflection
it’s hard to see my beauty
and it seems every day
I’m disgusted with my weight

sometimes
I cry on the outside
but more often than not
I cry inside

I’m in that transition where
nothing seems right
but everything seems
how it should be

it’s easier to stay hidden
than expose how I am
so I smile for the camera
and cringe

my stubbornness looks
for the answers alone
because with Him
nothing has power to affect

but as you can tell
I may need some help
but only from friends
who don’t judge

the power to overcome
lives inside of me
but somehow (at times)
it seems buried

“Too much Too late”

You know how
You meet someone
Unattractive
Yet the more you get
To know them
The handsomer they become

What if you do things backwards

What if you marry someone
Attractive
Yet the more you get
To know them
The less handsome
They become?

What I thought I knew
Wasn’t
And what I’m finding out
Shouldn’t be

“Naked Feelings”

the beauty is
I write what I feel
the problem is
I write what I feel

I’ve wondered why
it’s so important for me
to be open
and I giggle at times
of the reality of things

years of stripping
selling my body
exposing what
was on the outside
now
keeping my clothes on
valuing my worth
exposing what’s
on the inside

being open
transparent
having no fear
of what life brings

so many marriages
hidden away
with problems galore
yet seeming at peace

so many parents
feeling like failures
doing what they believe
to make things right

so many issues
swept under the rug
not realizing any moment
someone can move it

but there’s growth in being open
with your friends
with your family
with your spouse

love breeds vulnerability
vulnerability breeds intimacy
intimacy breeds love
love breeds peace
for all to live in

“Cosmetics”

if you can’t see your beauty
wear it

all last week
I felt ugly
until Friday
when I wore makeup

maybe it helps
to get “dolled up”
before you go inside
and see what’s wrong

putting on a face
helped me
step through
the looking glass

“Do You See What I See?”

I know you don’t
because when I look in the mirror
I cry

I see my profile
my weight
my self
and I cry

I just want someone
to see me
from the outside

each profile
from the neck down
from the neck up
from the front
the back
the sides
and tell me that
I’m beautiful

but convince me

or deliver me from
the darkness
that tells lies