Last Sunday, as I was talking with the youth group, they were lit on fire. I was telling them about my walks in Balboa Park, how I meet people and pray for them. When they heard about the homeless people, they wanted to help. They asked if I would go around and ask them what they needed because the kids want to gather these things together and take them to them. Isn’t that beautiful! So, I went. Continue reading
hope
Coach Kyle
My son, Kyle, has a dream of someday either being an NFL coach of a team or owning one. On Saturday, his dream began with his first coaching position of my other son, Nathan’s, team. I was one proud momma!
When I post about my kids, it may seem odd, but if you lived inside my heart, you’d understand. When my older two were little, I oppressed them with a darkness that’s hard to fathom: Continue reading
God Knit Me for Today
Wow! That could be a title for any day, but it sure has a special meaning for me today. Before I opened my eyes, before I woke up, I heard ‘Happy Birthday’ from God. I love God so much, and how much He’s changed me is miraculous! I’m glad He made me, saved me, restored me, loved me on purpose.
Throughout the years, different dates have grabbed my attention: my sobriety date, my born again date, etc, but this year, my birth date is more precious to me than any of those. I’ve thought about God’s purpose, and what I mean by that is that He created me on purpose. He chose the twenty-first of January as my entrance into the world. Even more so than that, He chose the mother to knit me inside of: Denise Holt.
Mom, thank you for being a vessel of God’s love. I am so glad that God chose you, that God chose your womb, as a secret place for me to be formed in. In you, He created my laugh. In you, He created my heart that loves so deeply. In you, He created my smile with an everlasting joy in His heart. In you, He created me, and I am so glad He chose YOU to be my mommy. I wish all my friends could meet you. I wish I could see you. I miss you. I love you. And I’m determined to wrap my arms around you this year. I don’t know “how” it will happen. I just know it WILL.
Hoping for a House Call
Yesterday in the park, God just brought people to me. I don’t know why it amazes me every time. It’s so His Character. He wants people to experience His nonjudgmental Love.
As soon as I sat down, I met a woman named Sandy. She was from Oakland (naturally blessed because she’s a Raiders fan). We began talking about her dog, her visit, her kids, and I told her what I do in the park daily. She liked that. Then, she opened up.
She told me that just the other day, she woke up with the thought that she’s wasted her life, that she hadn’t done well with the time that God had given her. I spoke into her heart how much God loves her, and that it’s never to late. When I asked if she’d like prayer for anything, she mentioned her son, who has an incurable sickness going on. Guess where he lives? Imperial Beach. I offered to go to him to pray over him. She said in surprise, “You’d do that?” I said, “Of Course!” She took my phone number for him. I hope he calls.
After I prayed for her, a homeless man named Dan came up. He was commenting on Sandy’s dog. I asked him questions about his life, his homelessness, his dog. At one point, he served our country oversees. As he was sharing, he stated that it was most important for him to feed his wife, his dog, and then himself. He showed me the food he’d found in the dumpster. He said, “People throw away perfectly good food all the time.” I offered him the candy canes I had in my pocket, but he said he needed to watch his figure.
He let me know where they sleep in the park. I’ll be walking with a friend today, so I’ll see if we can go visit them. God is so good! He loves so deeply, so uniquely. I love that he always has me around dogs. He’s softening my heart towards them, and it’s working.
There for One
On Christmas Eve, a bunch of us went to Mexico to take some Christmas joy to the residents of one of the dumps. It was quite amazing. The place was full of people, but I believe God had me there for one in particular.
When the bus unloaded and we headed down towards the Christmas tree with all our bags, I heard the distant sound of mariachi music, and my heart began to dance. I couldn’t wait to let my body join in with my heart.
As I approached, I saw Phillip, dropped my bags, and ran to give him a hug. He was excited to see me. (Not many people smile there. I’m not sure if it’s because they are without joy or if it’s because they have bad teeth. We should probably take them some toothbrushes and toothpaste.) We hugged. I spoke a little in English. He spoke a little in Spanish, and then, I ate. What do you know! The trash can was next to the mariachi band. That was SO God. I threw away my plate and started dancing with the only man out there.
His name was Ezekiel. The bus had arrived AFTER the mariachi band, and apparently, this gentleman had already been dancing. As it turns out, God had me there to be his partner.
We danced and danced. He really “knew” what he was doing. I was just hopping around. It was so fun to watch him enjoy this moment in life. It seemed like he had stopped dancing years ago and had been waiting to let it out, which he did! After dancing a few songs, we talked.
He spoke pretty good English. He told me, “I don’t know what’s wrong with everybody. Nobody wants to dance, except you. Thank you for dancing with me.” I prayed over him and spoke a prophetic word into his heart. God revealed that he had the anointing of a lion. Actually, his home was at the top of the hill. He said he protects everyone, watches over them, because there are bad people that try to come after them to take their belongings…very neat man. He’s been there three years.
Near the end of praying, he said, “Can I give you something?” I said, “YOU want to give ME something?” For a moment, I was baffled. What could he want to give me. He asked again, “Can I give you something? If I give you something, will you take it?” I said, “Yes, I will take it.”
He took off his cross necklace and placed it over my head and set it around my neck. AMAZING!
To me, this was so HUGE: a man who had very little gave me something so valuable. I will keep it forever. He told me that the greatest Christmas gift he could have ever received was someone to dance with him. It was funny: at one point, he tried to dance with me as a partner. Then, he let go to dance solo and said, “It’s better this way.” That made me laugh.
Do you know how huge all of this is? There’s a past that existed where I was a stripper and used my dancing to get what I wanted. Now, that past is dead, and every moment, God is creating a new past. This one is full of Him using my dancing to bless people. Ezekiel was blessed, and I was glad that God was able to use me to dance.
Love is going to Change the World
Earlier this month, I went on a mission trip to the dump in Tecate, Mexico. I shared this story on Facebook but thought it’d be nice to share it here. God’s Love flowing through people will change the world one prayer at a time, one smile at a time, one moment at a time…Love…
Meet Raul
At the dump, I met this beautiful man, Raul. He was standing in line to receive a second helping of food. In person, he was a lot dirtier than he appears in this picture. He had a sadness in his eyes, but underneath, there was hope. He spoke very little English, and I spoke very little Spanish, but God spoke, clearly, to his heart.
As we were talking, I asked him if I could pray for him. He said, “Yes,” so I did. In this prayer, God was speaking a lot of life and power and hope into him. I showed him the words on my shirt: “Change the World.” I told him God was going to use him to change the world, starting in the dump. He was so overwhelmed, he moved out of line to sit down. I didn’t catch on to what was happening. I went to see if he was okay and offered to stand in line for him. He took me up on that offer.
As I held his place, a woman mentioned his reaction to what I was saying to him. He had almost dropped his plate. God was at work in him. In his heart, a fire was ignited. When he joined me in line, he agreed to start praying for others in the dump. He agreed to start changing the world. He asked if I would come back. I told him, “Yes. Listen for my laugh, and when you hear it, say, “Ah, there’s Laura.”” He was one of the many friends I had the privilege of meeting and hugging at the dump.
Five Years Later
In 2009, I actually started to “read” my bible and fell in love with God, but I was in this uncomfortable state of wanting to live for him and sleeping around. The two just do not go hand in hand, so I would ask for prayer to stop having sex, and it finally worked.
On July 21, 2009, I made a decision in my heart to devote my body to God and informed the men I had been sleeping with. When I focused on God, He was pouring into me like crazy. A funny analogy to go with that was revealed to me right away. When I was a little girl, I was on the swim team. To gain the fastest head-start, it was best to have a clean dive from the get-go. My legs would always open, there would be a splash, which would slow down my momentum. They would constantly say to me, “When you dive in, close your legs.” That was SO true then and applied to my life in 2009. When I closed my legs, I was able to dive into His Word at full speed.
Last night, I felt led to look in my journal for a particular entry to share, and when I realized the date, I was reminded of the above analogy. Isn’t it crazy what time spent with God will do! Five years ago, these would not have been the desires of my heart, but because I’m fully yielded to Him, my desires line up with the calling He has on my life.
________________________________________
***Journal Entry on July 21, 2014 at 11:16 am***
The desires of my heart:
To make worship flags
To dance with them
To play the violin
To write a book
To reach more people
To love my kids well
To have a husband
To write psalms
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 