Lumpectomy

Radiation isn’t that scary after all

| Laura Lee Bonde

So, leading up to today was pretty scary but walking though it was very hopeful.

Believe it or not, the oncologist (Dr. Sarhill) had good news for me. First off, he was very straightforward and to the point. Before I could ask any questions, he had answered a lot.

By his observation, he believes I’m at Stage 1 (maybe Stage 2). We won’t know until they test the tumor.

After the lumpectomy and testing, I have two choices.

1. Have a mastectomy and be done with it,
or
2. Have radiation 5 days a week for 6 weeks, which would start mid April.

So far, I’m going for option 2. The radiation isn’t like it used to be, so I’ll be able to work through treatments.

I cannot tell you the silent worry I had going into this appointment. All of that worry was washed away by the knowledge that came out of his mouth. I just needed to hear it.

I’m finally excited to get this journey on to the next step!

Tunnels

| Laura Lee Bonde

there’s light
there’s always been light
it just seems like some tunnels
are longer than others

when I think back
as I’ve gone through stuff
I’ve always felt through it
and that’s been okay

there’re some super supernatural folks
who calmly walk
through the valley of death
seemingly unscathed
but some people feel out loud
all the way through

that’d be me

but I’m glad I feel
and I’m glad I write
because unbeknownst to me
my writing sometimes touches people
in their innermost being
in places only God could see
until now

I think it’s okay to get mad and frustrated
I think it’s okay to be scared
yet the words ‘fear no evil’
prove me wrong
yet I’m still a little freaked out

but through it all
I never think of drinking
I don’t want anxiety meds
heck, I don’t even want sex
the counselor ruined that for me
he taught me my worth
so now I’ll be picky

I know I’m not alone
I know God is with me
I know many are praying
maybe that’s why I’m crying
and breaking down in mid thought
because I’m surrounded by love
in the midst of fear

Step by Step

| Laura Lee Bonde

On March 11th, I’ll have a lumpectomy.

He’ll take out the tumor and a few lymph nodes to have tested.

Immediately, I start radiation.

If results come back positive for the lymph nodes, I’ll need chemo.

He’s trying to save my boob.

He put me on Vitamin E and Evening Oil of Primrose.

No coffee, tea, soda, energy drinks, or chocolate.