moms

A Date Night to Remember

| Laura Lee Bonde

It’s very rare that I get time alone with each of my kids, so I need to “make” that time, which I did last night. On Saturday, I saw a yummy recipe online and asked Katie if I could make dinner for her on Tuesday night and spend the evening with her. (At times, I either have the little ones or head to Red Seal.) She said, “Yes,” so I blocked off the evening for her and her alone. (I love the word “alone” because it comes from “all one.” Last night, I was “all one” with Katie.)

A couple months ago, I attempted to make her breaded zucchini and it turned out horrible, so this was going to be my redemption night. She even said, “It won’t be like last time, right?” Ha! I hoped not. I made this one-pot-pasta, where you put all the ingredients into the pan at the same time and let it cook. The whole process from cutting to cooking probably took about thirty minutes. It turned out SO YUMMY!

Katie receives love best in different ways: having food cooked for her, washing the dishes by hand, leaving little notes. She wasn’t raised with “hugs,” so they don’t speak very loudly to her. I am honored to have this chance to “love” her well. There are many distractions in this world, many things to do, many places to be. I am so grateful that God reminds me where I need to be and when I need to be there. Every moment alive counts.

Yesterday, on the freeway in the rain, I noticed some erratic driving and had this thought: if I died, I believe my kids would be okay because they are in the best place ever. They have seen enough of God through my living to have a solid foundation. They are so close amongst themselves that I know they would stay together. They would know where I was at. They would hurt but they would be okay. (But I really don’t think that I’m going to die any time soon.)

A Mother “Mess-Up”

| Laura Lee Bonde

Last night, I messed up. I’m not going to share what I did wrong because I just don’t want to put it out there on FB. I was supposed to do something, was counted on, was depended on and missed my alarm. Thank God for dads!! Anyway, I’m posting because of my response. I think when we respond differently in life, THAT’s when we notice growth the most.

Oh well…unless I explain what I did, I won’t be able to convey this correctly, and this may help someone else, so here it goes: in the middle of the night, I was supposed to pick up Carolyn, missed my alarm and missed her calls (my phone was on silent). Thank God that her dad answered his phone, picked her up, and brought her home.

There…there’s my “mess up.”

Anyway, I woke up frantic. You know that feeling when you realize something in your sleep and jump out of bed, wishing you could reverse time? That was me! I came into the living room, and Carolyn was sitting on the couch, talking about her day with Kyle. I was so apologetic. I felt so bad. In the past, I really thought that what I “did” described how good of a mom I was. If that was the case, then last night would have revealed that I was a bad mom. (Notice the past tense verb. That’s not how I feel.) But when you know your identity in the cross, everything’s different.

For a moment, I went in the other room and thought, “Why am I not crying? Normally, I would be in tears.” Then, it hit me. I wasn’t crying because what I did had nothing to do with who I am. The enemy waits for moments like this to condemn me, and I used to fall into all the time, but now, my feet are on solid ground of who I am, so I didn’t fall into it. (I’m so glad I have a new normal.) This isn’t something I need to say ‘sorry’ for a million times. (I’ve don’t that to Kyle and Katie before, but I didn’t need to. I just kept listening to the voices condemning me and felt the need to say sorry over and over again. It just isn’t so.) This experience taught me so much!

Of course, I apologized to Carolyn. I felt bad, but I asked for and received her forgiveness and the forgiveness of my Father in heaven. Now, I’ll never bring it up again (except on here, in case it helps someone). Remember how I said I used to cry at things like this? I wonder how much of that was feeling bad or was wanting others to feel bad for me. Hmm…another lesson.

God is so amazing!! He just keeps revealing new truths, creating new moments, enveloping new experiences, causing new growths, seeding new friendships! I’m so excited to see and know what I will be like right before I die. There will be so much life lived, so much truths learned, so much freedom gained, so much love given and received. Even if I die today, there’s “so much” that I would see in me. Yay, God!