over time I’ve learned
if someone hurts me
over and over again
I guard my heart
with an iron wall
so what if that someone
decides to change
will their niceness
even make it
over the wall
in turning the other cheek
over and over again
you end up shaking your head
“no”
happiness is a state of mind
and the only state i wanna live in
i can’t fake being happy
i can’t fake being sad
what you see is what you get
but i DO have a goal
to be more
i wanna be happy ALL the time
no matter what the circumstance
unless tragedy strikes of course
some say that’s impossible
but I say they’re wrong
from inside God’s heart
ALL things are possible
and looking inside God’s heart
there’s nothing to be unhappy about
making decisions creates a reality
and the way i react to that reality
can make a difference in the world
either good or bad
in having friends
you need to BE a friend
back when I was using drugs
a “connection” was my supplier
NOW it’s an invisible cord
woven together through conversations
while getting to know people
face to face
online
through text
and over the phone
there’s a difference between
knowing someone
and being known
and being known
takes conversation
last night
I dreamt about
Nathan
so while I sleep
he’s still here
Jesus knew
a mother’s heart
and even
replaced Himself
before dying
I wonder how many times
people retake selfies
until everything’s perfect
hiding everything that’s not
it doesn’t really matter
what goes on around me
it’s Who lives inside me
that matters
and when I focus on Him
nothing is impossible
there’re certain things
that take my breath away
nature
pictures
attack dogs
missing my son
spiderwebs
laughter
tears
but I always remember
to take it back
every day
I break down
at least once
there’s been this sense of
lack
of responsibility
one less mouth to feed
one less child to wake
less clothes to wash
one less attitude to correct
one less
clearly I found
part of my identity
in being a mom
so if you find that part of me
let me know
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 