some people can’t wait
to make others laugh
and there’re those who look
for the other shoe to fall off
others wanna listen
to give advice
and some people watch
till you do something wrong
just so they
can
correct
you
poetry
“Translation”
in a whisper
you’d know my life
and respond
but do we
really know
what to say
what to hear
there’re times
when things seem
so wrong
then I think
did I hear Him?
and sometimes fear
to listen again
in case I hear wrong
have you ever
told God
you won’t listen?
i have
not really won’t
but can’t
and in those moments
God’s listening
waiting to answer
“For Your Eye Site”
man, my writing used to be
full of life one could breathe
but now
it seems to be one moment
of despair
after another
I wanna be that life for you
for my family
for my husband
but when you’re unhappy in marriage
you tend to gasp
for air
I went from absolute freedom
to losing at childish games
passive aggressiveness
silence with problems
different ambitions
actually, no ambitions
opposite health
goals
everything
I can’t even explain it
or maybe I shouldn’t
it-takes-two
has turned to one
but I know what I’m good for
being corrected
being demeaned
being smiled at
sex
there’s no intimacy
apart from sex
there’s no interest
in anyone else
but the cat
I wasn’t blind
things were hidden
I felt God speak
so I jumped
without a parachute
and landed
too broken to move
so I breathe
in and out
in and out
in and
out
in
and out
it’s there
where I think to go on
or not
behind closed doors
deeply in God
anything’s possible
but as I take on the day
I feel ruined
trapped
in words
trapped
in thought
trapped
in side
this is another one
of those hidden poems
in plain site
“Rock Climbing”
I don’t know how
to laugh in silence
I don’t know how
to create conversation
I don’t know how
to follow the sun set
I don’t know how
to climb walls
I’d rather
tear them down
“Decisions Matter”
the weakness
of indecision
leads
to missed
opportunities
you know
the ones that knock
on your door
over and over
and when you
finally decide
to open it
opportunity’s
walked away
so you go back
inside
wishing you’d acted
quicker
constantly turning around
to see
what you’d missed
instead of looking
for more opportunities
learn to make decisions
then don’t change
your mind
“Maskbook”
never feeling the weather
behind the scene
never seeing the tears
behind the selfie
never hearing the argument
behind the pose
never tasting the food
behind the picture
never quite knowing
what’s “really” going on
yes Facebook
might’ve gotten it wrong
but people’ve become used
to what’s in front of them
forgetting that looks
can be deceiving
“Trapped”
my definition
is having
hope
of never
getting
out
“A Sad Goodbeye”
there’s a life I lived
just me and the kids
a life we loved
and can never go back to
there wasn’t much room
but we always saw each other
cramped but comfortable
smiling
goofing around
laughing
something we thought
we’d never lose
until I gave it away
now here we are
together
yet separated
my son far away
my life now with my ex
one who always seemed
to fit in visits
doesn’t fit in life
opposite
doesn’t laugh
rarely talks
consumed by self
and then us
one of the hardest things
is to make laughter
out of sadness
to make hope
out of a life they hate
watching them without smiles
without laughter
without “us”
it’s not about what “I’ve” done
it’s about a choice I made
with my heart
not realizing
what it’d cost
well
the high price’s been paid
now in debt
I stay aware
of what can be done
of what can be changed
of who might be released
I have the choice
to send my kids back
to live with their dad
and find new life
or I have the choice
to keep them here
and create a life
they’ll never enjoy
I know “never”‘s a heavy word
but if you were here…
if you knew…
if you saw…
you’d never disagree
one of the hardest things
to let go of
is a life you’ve loved
but will never have again
why do we always see
what isn’t there
why is always
too late
in my defense
I really thought
we’d love this
how was I to know
reality
would differ
from visits
“Listen to the Thoughts”
determination never quits
even if you stand still
it keeps moving
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 