poetry

“Proof”

| Laura Lee Bonde

the most memorable moments
are the one-on-one times
I get to share with ladies

moments of remembering
the road leading up to
and carrying on in recovery

those moments in sharing
when gentle tears rise inside
remorseful of what I’ve done

of who I was

gentle tears of healing
for both her
and me

tears of being thankful
of who I am now
and what I now do

I’m a living, breathing testimony
of one who has recovered
from a hopeless state of mind

and I’m living proof
that a life lived in God
is one worth living

“Confidence” (or Godfidence)

| Laura Lee Bonde

one God
one love
one moment
one peace

having entered in
I can walk through trials of fire
and not get burned

I can swim through waters of life
and never drown

when winds of change flow through me
they lift me up, never knock me down

obstacles
hardships
loneliness
are simply opportunities
to love Him more

every day I walk taller
knowing Who He is
and who I am inside His heart

“The Stage”

| Laura Lee Bonde

thank You for saving me
from the stage of my past

redeemed
restored
into someone new
loved head to toe

when I look back
I can’t even recognize
the “me” I used to be

I’ve been reborn
in life
in character
in nature

the me I see now
is enveloped in You
and who I’m meant to be
is still being fashioned

through trials
through fire
through Love

shining through it all
I trust You
I lean on You
I fall back into You

leaving imprints of love
with those I’m blessed to meet

“Thanksgiving”

| Laura Lee Bonde

there’s so much to be grateful for
I just don’t know where to begin

I’m grateful for knowing God
not in a surface way
but in a deep, profound way

I’m grateful for my beautiful kids
how they make decisions
apart from codependency

I’m grateful for my wonderful job
that feels like a way of life
except that I clock in and out

I’m grateful for this home
the imperfections
and the perfectness

I’m grateful for my mind
that it’s set in the right direction
and thinks soundly

I’m grateful for my Raiders car
that after 253,000 miles
it’s still going strong

I’m grateful for each moment of the day
how it happens right on time
but unexpectedly

I’m grateful for emotions
and that I’m not judged by them
or for having them

I’m grateful for transparency
that I no longer have to hide within myself
or lie to make me greater

I’m grateful for a lot of things
but most of all for God
because He’s made me complete

Telescopes

| Laura Lee Bonde

When I look at my past, I think, “No wonder I was where I was at; I didn’t know my value,” and when I look at my present, I think, “No wonder I’m where I’m at because I KNOW my value!”

“False Evidence Appearing Real”

| Laura Lee Bonde

what have I become?
I’ve become more of who I am

there’re still some words inside
holding back from coming out
and it makes me wonder

why?
who am I protecting?
who am I afraid of?

if God is for me
who can be against me?

at times…many

but in reality
as much as people have the right to bully online
I have the right to speak my mind
whether you like it or not

but still
if I can’t take the heat
there’s always the delete button

“Halloween”

| Laura Lee Bonde

fear is such a bully
who thrives
on keeping one locked up

silent
doubting
wondering
what should’ve been done
what could’ve been done
how you’ve failed

but it’s only an illusion

fear threatens
and suffocates
and ages one
without them knowing

fear has a tall shadow
but a tiny image
it can look like light
and sound like sanity

it wears its costume
well

but when exposed
it disintegrates
into nothingness

Death of Friends

| Laura Lee Bonde

You know, because of my consistency of not writing on here, I’m not even sure anyone knows about my friends who passed away.

Rob Johnson, who was my best friend here in Harlingen, overdosed on Heroin in May and passed away in June. He never regained consciousness. He was thirty-three.

And Lee, my beautiful homeless friend who didn’t die homeless, died of unknown reasons in early October. They haven’t found his family yet, and if they don’t, they’ll let me claim him and send me his ashes.

Both of them knew how much I loved them. I’m so happy for that!