“Another Holiday”

Happy Easter, Everyone!!
4/16/17

Easter
a day I thought I’d be a mess
without my boys
but last week
something changed
I realized there’s someOne
so much more important
than my kids
and that One is God

and when I focus on Him
my emotions don’t go crazy
when I focus on Him
my circumstances seem small
when I focus on Him
I see He’s the same

no matter where my kids live
no matter how my marriage’s going
no matter what’s going on
no matter who’s in front of me
no matter when life takes a turn
He stays the same

and when I focus on Him
my purpose is steadfast

17880301_10211734038934185_2824565055284155655_o

“The Power of One”

alone: all one
alone with God: all one with God

but there are other types of alone

like being alone in a relationship
like being alone at a movie
like being alone in Texas

when I moved from everything I knew
and everyone I’d known
I thought it wouldn’t affect me
but almost immediately
it did

moving from everything
to almost nothing

it took its toll on me
on my emotional stability
on my spiritual identity
and I was alone

yes I made friends along the way
but none believe what I do
and yes I was never alone
but in some ways I was

but being alone to walk through things
was empowering

to know that nothing is impossible for me

sometimes
you have to walk alone
sometimes
its better to walk alone
sometimes
it’s about being all one

please don’t be offended
this is simply my poem

I know so many pray and think good thoughts
but I’m talking about the times when I couldn’t breathe
the times my face swelled up from crying
the long drive back from dropping off Nathan
and many more

alone
finding power in the only Source I know
finding comfort in the only Blanket I know
finding peace in the only Man I know
alone

trust me
nothing is impossible for me
I’m invincible
because I live in victory

even when darkness closed in around me
my path was always lit

“Not By Sight”

I haven’t done this in awhile
eyes closed
heart open
writing a poem
without distraction

as my fingers dance among the keys
I focus to see who I am

I am HIS
a child of God
blooming in every season
just like
when the rain pours down on the flowers
they may look sad
and gloomy
drooping beneath the weight
of every drop
but as the sun comes out
the flowers stand
and dance in the wind

that’s how I feel

even if the weather takes it ts toll
I remain
even if my appearance changes
my heart stays the same
perfect in HIM
my Creator
my Lover
my Everlasting Hope
my Smile
my Life

who am I?
I am HIS

not an alcoholic
not a prostitute
not a drug addict
not a mother
not a wife

I am HIS
a child of God
a daughter of the King
a vessel of His Spirit
I am HIS

It’s Been Awhile…

Well, I’m out of hiding. Here’s a small explanation of what happened to put me in there.

For the longest time, my blog’s been my journal. I’ve been this “open book” for years, and then, I remarried my ex-husband.

The marriage hasn’t been going well, and I’ve been writing along the way, until late January, when he read through my website. Anyway, since then, I changed my settings to “private” and, for the most part, stopped writing.

Since then, I’ve written some poems on Facebook but never transferred them here because it was “private;” I mean, why bother? And as far as my other writing has gone…well, it hasn’t, but I’m tired of hiding, so I’m letting my website be seen and will start, next week, hiding any work that involves my husband.

If you want a private life, never marry a life writer, and if you don’t want anything bad written about you, then treat people well, and if you don’t know how to treat people well, get help! There’re many resources out there to assist you along the way.

Communication is the key that unlocks the prison of unresolved conflict.

“Anchored”

[written at 6:39pm on 1/24/17]

deep inside
I know who I am

how am I to let you in
when I want out?

who I appear to be
rages around me
but deep down
below the storm
I am anchored

but there is a way
to quiet the storm
and let my Light
shine through
while I’m anchored

“Grab a Shovel”

some people wonder where I am
inside
because I’ve been hidden away
in silence
here’s an honest poem
to let you in

when I see my reflection
it’s hard to see my beauty
and it seems every day
I’m disgusted with my weight

sometimes
I cry on the outside
but more often than not
I cry inside

I’m in that transition where
nothing seems right
but everything seems
how it should be

it’s easier to stay hidden
than expose how I am
so I smile for the camera
and cringe

my stubbornness looks
for the answers alone
because with Him
nothing has power to affect

but as you can tell
I may need some help
but only from friends
who don’t judge

the power to overcome
lives inside of me
but somehow (at times)
it seems buried

“Without a Friend”

So, this morning, I wrote this poem, and right after, I updated my website (which was WAY overdue). Honestly, I think writing (and posting) this poem on FB broke through the chains that were holding back my fingers from the keyboard.

The only fear that exists is the one I agree with.

“Without a Friend”

where is it?
where did it go…
the writing?

how could a passion just
disappear
is darkness really that strong
I KNOW it’s not

so where did it go?
where is it…
the writing?

“The World is My Journal”

[written 1/20/17]

may the ground be the paper
and my feet be the pen
while my heart strokes the words
that write my story

every one has their story
personal
rich
unique

not to be copied
not to be plagiarized
not to be criticized

the road is narrow
but wide enough for friends
to experience this story with me
as you write your own