trauma

“had she known…”

| Laura Lee Bonde

She has unknown trauma that was triggered by unspeakable acts
Trauma she thought she had worked through yet lingered in the depths of her soul

There it was, staring her in the face from the inside, clawing at her memories and what was happening around her

There was nowhere to run
Nowhere to hide
The only way to move forward was to push through

One by one, they ravaged her like animals
Like SHE was an animal
Forced to enjoy what was never planned out

At any moment, it would end (or so she thought)…but it didn’t

The door kept opening
Everything kept happening
In the dark

How could she end up here and be who she was? How could she be worth so little? Or maybe this was what she wanted

Maybe the trauma was calling it, feeding it, putting up with it until…it was done

The degrading
The disrespect
The question “how did you like it”

Finally, it was over, the words came out in tears, her worth stripped away with her dignity. All that was left was a lesson

Scars that Prove Something

| Laura Lee Bonde

I always thought scars were a constant reminder of “what happened,” but since I have a couple now, I realize that’s not the case. Most of my “scars” are on the inside, so I never really thought about them as being reminders. Music, smells, household chores, thoughts usually trigger me back to a painful past, but not so much scars.

A little while back, I fell at my sons’ football practice and ended up in the emergency room. I have an irritating looking scar on my foot and my knee. At times, after standing for a while, the one on my foot hurts. Looking at it and feeling it, both, don’t seem to take me back to the moment of trauma; something else does. Continue reading →