Standing its Ground

Fear always has an explanation.

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“Never from Nowhere”

there’s always a reason behind my writing
it’s my heart’s reaction to what’s happened
or what’s happening
sometimes I’ll lie and say it’s someone else
but in reality
it’s just me
and most likely
the lie is to protect someone else
and in protecting someone else
I may be left hurt
but that’s where I grow
and not let things control me
not let circumstances dictate my health
not let someone else’s issues stifle my laugh
but there’s always a reason behind my writing
and there’s always a smile
waiting to shine

My Son Turned 14 on 4/17/2017!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Nathan!! I know you won’t see this, but my heart doesn’t care, so I’m posting it anyway.

I’m so proud of you and miss you immensely!
There’re times when I think you’ve made the smartest decision out of all of us.
There’re times when I wonder how life will go on.
There’re times when I rage inside because you’re growing up without me.
There’re times when I rage inside because I’m growing up without you.
My bones miss your laughter.
My muscles miss your hugs.
My heart misses your smile.
But even though we’re far apart, you still turned 14!!
And even though we’re far apart, I’m still breathing.
I love you!

[Photo credit: Kyle, from the movie theater on 4/16/17]

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“Another Holiday”

Happy Easter, Everyone!!
4/16/17

Easter
a day I thought I’d be a mess
without my boys
but last week
something changed
I realized there’s someOne
so much more important
than my kids
and that One is God

and when I focus on Him
my emotions don’t go crazy
when I focus on Him
my circumstances seem small
when I focus on Him
I see He’s the same

no matter where my kids live
no matter how my marriage’s going
no matter what’s going on
no matter who’s in front of me
no matter when life takes a turn
He stays the same

and when I focus on Him
my purpose is steadfast

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