As most of you know, Nathan turned twelve on Friday. In celebrating his birth, I celebrated a personal freedom that I had never experienced before. Let me explain.
When I was twelve, something happened that changed the course of my life forever: I had sex. Emotionally, I wasn’t ready. Physically, I wasn’t ready. Spiritually, I wasn’t ready, but it happened, and that experience took me on a journey of confusion, and every so often, I’ve been reminded of it. Continue reading
Yesterday, on my lunch, I met Emil to dance at St. Paul’s Villa, a home for seniors. They had ballroom dancing: waltz, tango, etc. If you’ve never been to a dance at a senior home, you may not know what to imagine as you read, so let me outline a picture for you, and you can add your own color. Continue reading
Because of my past
people “expect” me to be broken
Because of my past
people tend to want to “fix” me
Because of my past
people “wait” for me to fall Continue reading
Desiring to be done but not wanting to move
Desiring to move on but not wanting to leave
Desiring to do more but not wanting to volunteer
Desiring to grow but not wanting to learn
Desiring to be done but not wanting to move
Yesterday, on my walk to meet Lee, I thought about life, about if one person can really make a difference in this world, if reaching one person was enough. Lately, God’s been speaking to me about how it was important to leave the ninety-nine to find the one. Even the other night, when Scott took us out to dinner, he parked in space ninety-nine. I was listening. God is always talking to us, we just need to remember to listen.
As I walked up to where Lee was sitting, a young man from the other direction approached, too. As he grew nearer, he said, “It’s time for our visit.” He had a violin, which totally excited me. His name was Anthony. Lee moved to the ground, I sat in the chair, and Anthony sat on the other side and pulled out his violin. When he found out who I was, he was very excited. He said I was well talked about and said he was hoping to meet me someday. Then, he began to play. Continue reading
exploding from darkness
drenched in Light
leaving footprints
for others to follow
As a mother…
Learning to love
not loving to learn
a broken past
children crushed by my life
raised in darkness
but now live in Light
As a daughter… Continue reading
kneeling
in shame
afraid to look up
kneeling
in sorrow
not knowing how to live
kneeling
to teach
face to face – eye to eye
kneeling
to listen
to the small voice that cries
kneeling
in awe
of being loved by Him
kneeling
in Reverence
of Who He is: I AM
broken
like the wind
not knowing where to blow
hiding
in the stillness
or the shadows
darkness Continue reading
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 