Inside of almost every card, a heart is revealed, especially if the cards are made just for you. On my birthday, my kids each gave me a birthday card, and I’d like to reveal to you the hearts that I found inside each one. Continue reading
Life Transformations
JC’s Girls at the Rock
I lead a ministry at the Rock Church in San Diego called “JC’s Girls,” and we go to strip clubs and porn conventions and love on the ladies, and beyond that, we live our lives through God’s heart. Every day…reaching out.
What Our Ministry is About
As a leader, I’ve been loved, supported, prayed for, judged, talked about, challenged…there’s probably more, but thank God…I only care what He thinks, so I’m going to pour out my heart for a moment.
An Order of Prayer
A couple of weeks ago, I had a meeting at a Starbucks and met a man who fell in love with my laugh. His exact words…”I will never forget you.” Last night, I ended up at that same Starbucks, and when he saw my face, he said, “I remember you!” That made me laugh. Then he said, “I remembered you before you laughed!” He was so proud of himself.
He asked if I wanted to order anything. I told him I was waiting for someone. I asked him how he was doing. He said he was letting go of some stuff, and it was hard. I asked him what he was letting go of. He said, “Drugs. I was so high last time I saw you.” I grabbed his hand and started praying. Continue reading
Weeping…to Know You More
I am just in awe of Who God is. I’m sitting here weeping and cannot stop. I like to share my intimate moments with you because there may be someone out there who isn’t having them who needs to hear the hope that they do happen.
I was just sitting here thinking about my birthday and how loved I felt, but it wasn’t just love that was felt because of my birthday, I feel so loved every day. I’ve learned to hang around with people who “like” me. I no longer try to “force” myself into anyone’s life, and it has brought me so much freedom. Continue reading
God Knit Me for Today
Wow! That could be a title for any day, but it sure has a special meaning for me today. Before I opened my eyes, before I woke up, I heard ‘Happy Birthday’ from God. I love God so much, and how much He’s changed me is miraculous! I’m glad He made me, saved me, restored me, loved me on purpose.
Throughout the years, different dates have grabbed my attention: my sobriety date, my born again date, etc, but this year, my birth date is more precious to me than any of those. I’ve thought about God’s purpose, and what I mean by that is that He created me on purpose. He chose the twenty-first of January as my entrance into the world. Even more so than that, He chose the mother to knit me inside of: Denise Holt.
Mom, thank you for being a vessel of God’s love. I am so glad that God chose you, that God chose your womb, as a secret place for me to be formed in. In you, He created my laugh. In you, He created my heart that loves so deeply. In you, He created my smile with an everlasting joy in His heart. In you, He created me, and I am so glad He chose YOU to be my mommy. I wish all my friends could meet you. I wish I could see you. I miss you. I love you. And I’m determined to wrap my arms around you this year. I don’t know “how” it will happen. I just know it WILL.
Hoping for a House Call
Yesterday in the park, God just brought people to me. I don’t know why it amazes me every time. It’s so His Character. He wants people to experience His nonjudgmental Love.
As soon as I sat down, I met a woman named Sandy. She was from Oakland (naturally blessed because she’s a Raiders fan). We began talking about her dog, her visit, her kids, and I told her what I do in the park daily. She liked that. Then, she opened up.
She told me that just the other day, she woke up with the thought that she’s wasted her life, that she hadn’t done well with the time that God had given her. I spoke into her heart how much God loves her, and that it’s never to late. When I asked if she’d like prayer for anything, she mentioned her son, who has an incurable sickness going on. Guess where he lives? Imperial Beach. I offered to go to him to pray over him. She said in surprise, “You’d do that?” I said, “Of Course!” She took my phone number for him. I hope he calls.
After I prayed for her, a homeless man named Dan came up. He was commenting on Sandy’s dog. I asked him questions about his life, his homelessness, his dog. At one point, he served our country oversees. As he was sharing, he stated that it was most important for him to feed his wife, his dog, and then himself. He showed me the food he’d found in the dumpster. He said, “People throw away perfectly good food all the time.” I offered him the candy canes I had in my pocket, but he said he needed to watch his figure.
He let me know where they sleep in the park. I’ll be walking with a friend today, so I’ll see if we can go visit them. God is so good! He loves so deeply, so uniquely. I love that he always has me around dogs. He’s softening my heart towards them, and it’s working.
A Modern Day Mary Magdalene
My weekend with God was amazing! At first, I was fasting, but when I woke up Saturday morning, God told me, “I want to spoil you. I want you to eat.” My first thought was, “I wonder if breakfast is still going on.” My second thought was, “Of course it is! You just invited me to eat.” Breakfast was being served, and it was super yummy.
This was the most restful retreat ever! I constantly had my soaking music playing. I prayed, read, wrote, slept, and ate…in that order every time. One of the things I had prayed for and studied into was a revelation of the power and authority I am able to walk in. I had just read Luke 9:1 and was getting ready to read chapter eight, when I went to eat dinner.
As I sat down with my dinner on Saturday evening, I met a couple of gentlemen who sat at the same table with me. (There were a couple of youth and college retreats going on.) In conversation, we found out that we (one of the men and I) were both leaders and started talking about leadership. When he found out about JC’s Girls, he was amazed.
This past year, I’ve learned to only share about my past when led by the Holy Ghost. This was one of those times. I began sharing about what God had brought me out of: the stripping, the selling my body, etc.,…he was amazed. I then shared with him about what purity meant to me, that – even though I’ve slept with over one hundred men – I don’t want to be kissed until my wedding day. He just marveled. (I offered to come and speak to his college group about purity. That would be cool.)
As he listened to me share, he said, “Wow! A modern day Mary Magdalene…you don’t see that very often, when someone with your past gets totally freed.” I shared with him about dancing with flags, what God has redeemed through that, showed them both the flags, and gave him my card. He said, “What a powerful ministry: Mary Magdalene Ministries. Thank you for sharing your testimony. That’s power! I’m going to be speaking about you.”
They left, and I sat there and cried. What God has done with me is amazing! The reason there is power in my testimony is because I know my identity. Nothing form my past will ever stop me from walking in who I am. Actually, I speak of “a” past, but it’s not “my” past. My past was buried forever. Every day, I’m creating a new past, and it’s glorious!
I went back to my room to read up on Mary Magdalene. Guess where you can find her? Luke 8, the very chapter I was about to read!! I cried some more.
On Sunday morning, that same gentleman asked if he could continue using my testimony. I told him he could use me forever.
Meet Emil
This is my friend from the bus stop outside of my work. When I first met him a few months ago, he was grumpy. Look at him now!!
Since the first day I met him, what’s happened?
He let me bless him.
He let me pray over him.
Prayers were answered…freaked him out.
He almost died.
He was placed in a home.
He believes in God.
Transformation.
Over time, I’ve talked with him, laughed with him, loved him. We’ve become friends. He is the sweetest man! He used to be grumpy. Now, he’s not. I never know when I will catch him at the bus stop. Yesterday, I was so happy and surprised to see him, and he felt the same way about seeing me. I rarely have my phone on me at work, so after we talked for a little, I ran in and grabbed my friend to take a picture of us. I’m so glad because in case I never see him again, I will always have this picture!
Jesus is Lord
Sometimes, I make the kids laugh, but last night, I had the little ones cracking up. Here’s why:
Yesterday, as I was heading out on my lunch break, I asked the Holy Ghost where to walk. Then, I set off with the heartbeat of Jesus as my pace. I was telling Him I wanted to look like Him, talk like Him, hear like Him, smell like Him…I wanted to attract like He would.
As I walked on this one path, I started praying against twisted mindsets and saw two squirrels, so I decided to stop and talk to them. (This is where the kids started cracking up.) I told the squirrels, “Jesus is Lord.” Then I thought, “You probably already knew that.” From behind, I heard the crackling of leaves under footsteps. I realized I was talking to squirrels, so I turned to walk away, but this gentleman was approaching me, so I turned back around to meet him.
Within a minute, he told me that he had just suffered two heart attacks within a week. I was so excited that Holy Ghost had brought him on that path. I listened to him explain what had happened, how two stents were put in, how this had been the first time he’d been out and about since.
I asked him if I could pray for him. He said yes but stopped me to let me know that he didn’t believe in anything, that he was very “spiritual” but didn’t believe in Jesus, Buddha or anything else, but he said, “You can pray in whatever energy you believe.” I said, “I believe Jesus is Lord, and whether you believe or not, He’s still Lord. You don’t have to believe in anything. It’s me believing in my heart and praying through faith that will bring healing.” I touched his heart and prayed. Afterward, he said, “That’s good energy.”
He explained how his name was Michael because his mom had named him after the archangel. He thanked me, and we went our separate ways.
Later, I was blessed to pray for a woman who had the habit of putting everyone else first but hadn’t been caring about herself. I love how God cares so much to teach everyone their worth. She said that she’s always been protective of others but never protected herself. God touched her heart in an amazing way!
God loves so deeply. I can’t even imagine living apart from His Love.
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 