Celebrating Recovery

Yesterday, after my swim, I went up to the lifeguards to tell them I’d been sober twelve years. They were so excited for me!! It left me wondering: do others do that?

I’ve never been ashamed of my recovery. Actually, it’s the exact opposite: I’m very proud of being sober, having worked the steps through alcoholics anonymous, having gone even deeper with God in His word…very proud, indeed!

I never had hope of even being able to go ONE DAY without alcohol. Actually, there’s a funny story about that.

When I first started going to church in 2004, they had a women’s retreat, which I was invited to attend, so I did but was deathly afraid of how I’d be able to sleep without drinking, so you know what I did? I took Benadryl with me, so I could knock myself out at night, but to my surprise, I never used it. I was stunned! But it didn’t stop me from drinking as soon as I got back, and it took me another year and a half before I finally listened to God about going to AA.

Man, you wanna talk about a prison! It was a horrible way to live! I would leave bible studies paranoid because I thought they’d follow me to the liquor store and catch me buying booze. I was ALWAYS looking over my shoulder.

If you, by chance, are reading this post and have a problem with anything, please message me or something, so I can pray for you. You DON’T have to be alone EVER AGAIN!

“And you He made Alive”

first part of a Scripture
and I can’t get past it
only few words
yet endless meaning

And you
He made
Alive

Alive
Alive to live not exist
Alive to experience not isolate
Alive to every moment not asleep
Alive to every thought not weak
Alive to discover not ignore
Alive

so live
to experience
every moment
take thoughts captive
and discover who
you’re living to be

it seems every thing in life
has a switch
it’s up to you to turn it
on or off

“Passing the Buck”

choosing between
mom and dad

it’s not in the bible
but life’s choices
writes stuff in

Kyle says
don’t give them a choice
then they might hate themselves
for making the wrong one

it’s better for them to hate you
for making it for them

getting over hating others
will happen
over time
but
hating one’s self
can be permanent

“Turning Around”

I have a thought in my head
and heart
that few people know about

it’s one of excitement
change
and calmness

but a thought doesn’t
do much
by itself

it requires action
sometimes risk
and commitment

as it remains unspoken
it’s heard loud and clear
in heaven

change may seem scary
as a thought
but normal as a step

Dis…Encouragement

Yesterday was Katie’s and my annual 5K run for the hungry, and I really wanted to give Katie my full attention, so I didn’t take my phone, and thought about not needing it and didn’t take my purse.

About a mile down the road, I asked Katie if she had HER phone, which she did, so I said, “Good because we might run out of gas.” She sighed. Continue reading