Dis…Encouragement

Yesterday was Katie’s and my annual 5K run for the hungry, and I really wanted to give Katie my full attention, so I didn’t take my phone, and thought about not needing it and didn’t take my purse.

About a mile down the road, I asked Katie if she had HER phone, which she did, so I said, “Good because we might run out of gas.” She sighed.

I’d totally forgotten to put gas in the car the night before and had had a pretty busy day. I assured her we’d make it and prayed.

At the race, I noticed a man sitting on a bench. Normally, I stay WITH Katie when I’m with her, but this man was only a couple steps away, so I turned to say a quick hello and noticed he had a worn out bible and commented on it.

In talking, I told him how my first bible literally falls apart when you pick it up, and how I’d wanted to pass it onto the kids, so I’d looked into having it repaired but found it was around $75.00, which was too much for me.

He said (very matter-of-factly), “No, it’s not! Not to pass on a legacy,” and I replied, “It is when you can’t afford to pay your rent or go shopping for food,” and THAT’s when the lecture began.

He talked AT me (not to me) about how my words are so powerful and how my own words are the reason why I can’t pay my rent. He told me if I really KNEW what was in the bible, I wouldn’t be struggling. He told me about the importance of giving is so you can RECEIVE more back. He told me how, if I would speak rightly, I’d have more and, someday, would be able to help others out.

All the while, never ONCE did he ask me my name, did he get to know me AT ALL, did he inquire about…anything. He spoke without listening, and it didn’t make me feel very good at all.

While he was talking AT me, I kept inching away to return to Katie…how you turn your body as a “hint” to whoever you’re in front of. Anyway, he prayed over me that I’d watch my mouth and some other stuff, and I returned to Katie.

I told her all that went on, and she said, “That’s what you GET for talking to people!” It was funny. She’s right, but I’ll never stop. Shortly after, the same man approached me.

He asked if I had any pockets. I told him no (I knew what he was doing). He said he was going to give to me all he had on him, so that he’d get more back from God. That it was God telling him to do it, and then, he lectured me some more.

I get it. We ALL minister “differently” to people, but let me tell you…I didn’t feel loved; I didn’t feel encouraged. I actually felt DIScouraged and returned, once again, to Katie.

I told her how the man gave me $47.00, more lecture, and more prayer. She said, “Well, now we have gas money.” We both laughed.

So much of what that man said to me seemed “off.” He spoke to me about, IF I had more, I could help others out. That’s not true: I help people out all the time. I may not have much, but if I see a need, I’ll give part of what I have, and I don’t GIVE to “receive.” I give because I love, because I feel called to, because God ASKS me to.

It has nothing to do with what you have. It’s what you do with what you have.

Anyway, yesterday’s run was the toughest on me yet. I jogged super slow. At one point, I told Katie, “I feel like my legs are moving, but I don’t feel like I’m going anywhere.” She encouraged me the whole way.

…”you can do it mom; we’re almost there; five more minutes.” About three quarters of the way through, I told her she was a liar. It was funny!

When I crossed the finish line, I cried…only for a second, but I cried. I’m so grateful to run that run with her every year, and every year seems to be the BEST (of everything); that’s how it SHOULD be…from glory to glory.

When it’s time to have my bible fixed, I’ll know. I don’t need anyone “guilting” me into it.

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