change

“The Color Of My Skin”

| Laura Lee Bonde

I’m white, so I don’t know what you’re going through
but I know I care
anything I say won’t matter
so I’m not sure what I can do

if I could live my life as a black woman
to show you that I care, I would
but it doesn’t work that way

I’m not sorry I’m white
but I’m sorry some people are racist
I’m sorry people use power against others
I’m sorry death is a result
I’m sorry for your pain

nobody asked to be born a certain way
we’re just thrown into this game called life
it seems to me that peace would be a win
but how do we get there?

if you look through history
riots brought on change
change that was needed
for some, it’s the only way to be heard
for others, we may never know

every moment of life is a part of history
just some moments leave a lasting effect
I wonder what kind of changes
these moments will make

“Useful Thoughts”

| Laura Lee Bonde

there’s a hope that I’ve been looking for
that’s been all the time in me
not in any one
or any thing around me
but in me

no matter what I choose
I’ll always have hope

there’re many things in life
had I known
I would’ve done differently
but if I’d done them differently
would I still have what I know?

there’s no use thinking ‘what if’
because all that’s happened
has come to be
but there’s use in thinking of today
because that will form your future

if you want change
you have to change
and part of that
is making decisions

What I Deserve

| Laura Lee Bonde

before I left for Texas
so many friends in church said
“I’m so happy for you, Laura!
You deserve this.”

really? I deserve this?

does that mean God
is a punishing God?

or does that mean we all
have decisions to make
to learn
to grow
to become

along the way
after twenty-two years
I’ve changed
but Scott hasn’t
at all
and if I’d never married him
if I’d never moved out here
he never would’ve known

it takes courage to change
and it takes courage to stay
just not sure how strong I am

“Fortress”

| Laura Lee Bonde

over time I’ve learned
if someone hurts me
over and over again
I guard my heart
with an iron wall

so what if that someone
decides to change
will their niceness
even make it
over the wall

in turning the other cheek
over and over again
you end up shaking your head
“no”

this should be where the title goes

| Laura Lee Bonde

Okay, so, I like words and definitions, and almost every day, I look up at least one word, and when I find out the meaning, a deeper revelation comes about what I’d been searching. Well, tonight, I looked up the word “family” and began to cry.

family:: a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.

If you know me and know what I’m going through, you’ll know why I cried. [We leave in the morning.]

If you don’t know what I’m going through, don’t worry about it because there’s too much to explain.

“Background Music”

| Laura Lee Bonde

right now
I share a room with
my kids
so as I read
my bible
I hear their breathing
of deep sleep

I’ll miss that
different rooms
different state
different normals

but my excitement
overrides
the missing

I’m so excited
to be in this
new chapter

this new book

pages lined with
love
adventure
discovery

will people miss
the struggling
the loneliness
the barely-making-it
words

there’s no telling

some like to read about
pain
some like to read about
love
some
don’t see a difference

every day
is only the beginning
of what you make of it