church

“Church-Hopping”

| Laura Lee Bonde

life was never confusing for her
she stumbled threw it quite easily
having never known “right”
she never noticed wrong
until that one day

as she looked at her kids
she wondered what to do
so they wouldn’t turn out like her

frantically
she searched within
to find out what was missing
but it wasn’t what
it was “Who”

God had not been sought

of course that was it!
without Him
life had been full of drugs
alcohol
cussing
and more

but how does one get God for her kids?
thus began the “church-hopping”
she’d hopped enough bars in her lifetime
now to the houses of God

one by one she sat
until finally at rest
but as she tried to ‘get God for her kids’
she ran into Him herself
but it took a while
for her to step INTO His heart

comfort was a place in chaos
love had been a place in bed
honor and respect were never spoken
and peace had been torment

how do you grow out of hell that’s normal
how do you receive a life void of drama
if wrong seems right
then right will seem wrong

eventually
Good prevailed in her heart
and what once was lost
has been recreated in time
never to be misplaced again

Celebrating Recovery

| Laura Lee Bonde

Yesterday, after my swim, I went up to the lifeguards to tell them I’d been sober twelve years. They were so excited for me!! It left me wondering: do others do that?

I’ve never been ashamed of my recovery. Actually, it’s the exact opposite: I’m very proud of being sober, having worked the steps through alcoholics anonymous, having gone even deeper with God in His word…very proud, indeed!

I never had hope of even being able to go ONE DAY without alcohol. Actually, there’s a funny story about that.

When I first started going to church in 2004, they had a women’s retreat, which I was invited to attend, so I did but was deathly afraid of how I’d be able to sleep without drinking, so you know what I did? I took Benadryl with me, so I could knock myself out at night, but to my surprise, I never used it. I was stunned! But it didn’t stop me from drinking as soon as I got back, and it took me another year and a half before I finally listened to God about going to AA.

Man, you wanna talk about a prison! It was a horrible way to live! I would leave bible studies paranoid because I thought they’d follow me to the liquor store and catch me buying booze. I was ALWAYS looking over my shoulder.

If you, by chance, are reading this post and have a problem with anything, please message me or something, so I can pray for you. You DON’T have to be alone EVER AGAIN!

“Back to Square One”

| Laura Lee Bonde

throughout living
so many things change
time
moments
love
moods
seasons

and amidst the change
there’s growth
and amidst the growth
there’s pain
and amidst the pain
there’re tears
and amidst the tears
you may find a friend

but even friends
change with time

those close by
seem far away
those far away
seem close by
some acquaintances
become friends
some friends
become acquaintances
and through it all
I often find myself

alone

in church
aa
relationships

yes people are there
and some become friends
but as I walk to each path
I’m alone

I KNOW God is with me
but even HE said
it’s not good
for “man” to be alone
yet HE was there

so as I drive to AA
as I visit different churches
and in certain conversations
I’m alone

I get turned around but never lost
it seems heavy but always light
I get weary but grab hold
of the ONE Who never changes
and someday
I won’t be

alone

“Mixing the Well”

| Laura Lee Bonde

I’m excited about talking
with other people
about God

I’m excited to dance
with other women
with flags

I’m excited to visit
more churches
in the area

I’m excited to meet
more people
everywhere I go

yes
God leaves the ninety-nine
to go after the one

but maybe sometimes
the one
should go after the ninety-nine

A Stroll in God’s Park

| Laura Lee Bonde

In the beginning, when I’d had it planned to move out here to Texas, I wasn’t interested in finding a church right away, but because of the difficult times during packing and the drive, I KNEW I needed to find like-minded people to be around and knew I’d be needing a church.

During that first week in Harlingen, I’d been SO close to sinking into a dark depression and knew I was in trouble, if I didn’t get out and about, so right away, I began going to church. Continue reading →

“Open Harms”

| Laura Lee Bonde

people tend to yearn for acceptance
whether from themselves
or from others

I’ve heard countless people
come to God
relieved to be accepted by Him

how accepting is the church?

they claim to love you where you’re at
but do they
do we?

if a male couple came into church
holding hands seeking God
what would you do?
would you embrace them
welcome them into your life?

take that same couple
but a man and a woman
after unkown surgery
would you embrace them
welcome them into your life?

people tend to jump on banned wagons
and declare what’s wrong
instead of being what’s right

if Light boycotted darkness
what would happen

if Light ONLY stayed inside
would the doors be locked