there’s a difference between
wanting to die
and
not wanting to live
I know
because I was there yesterday
oh how I want to write about it
but there’s an element of hiding
that can’t be seen
it’s not that I’m isolating
FROM any one
it’s that I’m isolating TO
the only One Who can help
but this process NEEDS
to be written
it just may need to be
the old-fashioned way
as I write
I feel
and as I feel
I write
not believing
what I feel
and not feeling
what I believe
even now
crying
not knowing where I am
not knowing where I’m going
I know there’s more
a deeper freedom residing
where I can be “me”
no matter who I’m around
that was the thing
to bring people joy
to change the atmosphere
and dream
but when every dream
becomes a nightmare
and every sleep
brings a disturbing dream
the problem lies in waking
not in sleeping
but there’s this Truth I know
woven into my heart
of being One with Him
and having hope
misery CAN’T be His plan
so I’ll fight where I stand
by letting Him lead
His way to goodness
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 