“Contentment”

you know what I’ve realized?
I’m normal for “me”
no one can walk through this
like I am
and I can’t walk through it
like anyone else

we’re all different
all
unique

I’m grateful for my ups and downs
because I’m learning to work through them
the challenge I have
is to “feel” without judging myself

easier said than done

my poor counselor
I feel like he keeps having to repeat himself
but it seems like in between seeing him
I forget
but today
he said I’m doing much better!

my walk is mine
my look is mine
my nature is mine
and I’m pretty happy with it

Radiation

Well
I had a pretty intense
falling apart moment
one that made everything
seem wrong

I’m scared
I’m unsure
I feel lost
yet I know where I’m going
I feel like I wanna cry
on God’s lap
but “feel” Him holding me

you know how a toddler
will drop to the floor
with that dead-weight
because they don’t wanna move?

that’s how I feel
yet God keeps me
light as a feather
so I can’t stop moving forward

“I’m Raining”

maybe I’m not writing so much
because life’s seems so depressing
and I write about life

even today
writing about Katie
now I can’t stop crying

does anyone care to realize
how this feels?
I know I’m “supernatural” and shouldn’t “feel”

but I DO

and I feel deeply
every word
every look
every silence
every laughter

every hug
every child
every moment

I feel

Off the Roller Coaster…FINALLY

Okay, remember the other night, I was at Carolyn’s band performance? Well, that evening, I found myself totally content on where I was and haven’t differed since.

While I was watching Carolyn, I realized how nothing was distracting me; there was nothing in the way of me seeing her, watching her, taking every movement in, and then it dawned on me what a priceless gift it was to be a single mom. Continue reading