God

“Grab a Shovel”

| Laura Lee Bonde

some people wonder where I am
inside
because I’ve been hidden away
in silence
here’s an honest poem
to let you in

when I see my reflection
it’s hard to see my beauty
and it seems every day
I’m disgusted with my weight

sometimes
I cry on the outside
but more often than not
I cry inside

I’m in that transition where
nothing seems right
but everything seems
how it should be

it’s easier to stay hidden
than expose how I am
so I smile for the camera
and cringe

my stubbornness looks
for the answers alone
because with Him
nothing has power to affect

but as you can tell
I may need some help
but only from friends
who don’t judge

the power to overcome
lives inside of me
but somehow (at times)
it seems buried

“Letting Go”

| Laura Lee Bonde

[written 1/15/17]

When people are in a bad relationship
Others tend to tell them to ‘hold on’

Hold on to what?

To the tears?
That seem to slip away?

To the silence?
That crawls under your skin?

To the love?
That can’t be seen or heard?

To the bitterness?
That cuts like a knife?

To God?
Who lives inside of me?

Okay
I’ll hold on to myself
And see where I take God

Extinguishing Faith

| Laura Lee Bonde

When amazing situations turn out bad, I’m not sure how faith passes on because to get where I am took amazing faith, but if I told you (honestly) where I’m at, no one would follow, and I wouldn’t encourage you to.

That saddens me.

What’s the point of exercising extreme faith if, after I land, I advice everyone to back away from the cliff.

Faith is where your blindfolded, standing on the edge, and jump, expecting to be taught how to fly, but when you fall, your aches and pains tend to be warnings for others, so they don’t do the same thing.

Extinguishing faith.

Right now, in my life, I’d encourage moms to stay single and remain being one-hundred-percent there for their kids. I’d tell you not to marry your ex because it involves too much pain. I’d tell you not to move with your kids because the loss for them is too great and becoming a stranger is too painful. And I’d never encourage someone to become unequally yoked.

In other words, everything I’ve done, feeling moved by God in faith, I’d tell others NOT to do, so I’m not sure I find the good in that.

“Negative Vibes”

| Laura Lee Bonde

I “could be” farther along than I am
but if I focus on that
I’ll miss out on where I am

but it’s just hard not to notice
what keeps holding me back

a failing business
because I keep failing
a distant marriage
because we’re still strangers
kids that keep leaving
because they’re not happy

it’s like I’m reminded every day
of what’s not right
meaning most what I see
seems wrong

so I stay in God’s word and pray
worship through my heart
and dance
every chance I get
but how does that help?

it’s like I’m reminded every day
of what’s not right
meaning most what I see
seems wrong

still looking
still waiting
still hoping
still

“Different Worlds”

| Laura Lee Bonde

life is supposed to mean something

yet for some
it doesn’t
it’s just another day to do
nothing
it’s just another time to have
selfish needs met
it’s just another hour to be
pleased

thinking only of self
and how to make that feel good

to others
life is breath
a meaning more than living
a deepness that is touched
by being love
for others
a closeness of the self
they were meant to be

life is something
that if lost
can never be gained back

we only live once

why do some want to waste it
why do some not want to talk
about the One who created it
why do some only hope for the best
after life
instead of learning
and knowing
and embracing what’s next

one thing’s for sure
I’m tired of having thoughts
that welcome death

“Candid Conversations”

| Laura Lee Bonde

sometimes people
don’t want to hear your heart
because they don’t know what to do with it
but most of the time
I simply want an ear
and maybe a hug

never be afraid
to listen to someone’s heart
because usually
God’s intervened
before the last word’s been
spoken