The other day, I posted about the date of July 21st meaning something in my life, so I wanted to explore the actual “day” that that was because I knew that true repentance happened on a Friday, but guess what? July 21, 2009 was a Tuesday. Hmm…I began to wonder why that date stuck in my head. Let me explain.

In 2009, I was desperately seeking God and found Him but had been living a “Christian” life that involved ignoring my kids, cussing, sex, etc. In seeking God’s heart, I was discovering how I wanted to be and had the conviction to prove it. I wasn’t “in” a relationship. I was merely a “booty call” to some men…hoping to find someone to fall in love with me. (I had it so backwards.) I was reaching out for prayer to stop having sex, and God answered in the most peculiar way.

I had responded to a “booty call” on a Monday (the twenty-first). A few days later, on a Thursday, I walked (barely) into the emergency room. I could not stand up straight. I was in excruciating pain and had no idea what was wrong with me. I had my bible on my lap and was reading in the waiting room and, later, in the exam room. They ran tests, took blood, took x-rays and found nothing wrong, but I was in horrible pain. And then, it happened.

The exam doctor came in, looking at my chart, and asked me when the last time I had sex was. I looked at my bible and, I kid you not, looked at my heart and thought, “What type of example am I being.” Then, I replied, “Monday.”

They gave me pain meds and sent me home. I was humiliated, embarrassed. I wanted there to be something wrong with me. I wanted there to be an answer (and not the one I was given). JC’s Girls had bible study that night, and of course, I wouldn’t be able to make it, and they were going to be filming us. I went home and kept quiet.

The following day, it hit me: the pain, the doctor’s question, the answer was all part of God bringing darkness to light, all part of turning my heart towards repentance. See, after every sexual encounter, when I told God I was “sorry,” I had thought that that was repentance, but repentance happens when you change your mind to match your heart, so the twenty-first was just the day after I had had sex, but the twenty-fourth is when true repentance reached the heavens.

Psalm 38:5,6 “My wounds fester and stink because of my foolish sins. I am bent over and racked with pain. All day long I walk around filled with grief.”

Thank God for forgiveness!