Earlier this week, something was said to me that wasn’t true, yet it made me cry. I spent time in my bedroom (away from the kids) and cried on my pillow: ready to give up dancing, ready to stay home, ready to be hidden. All of those feelings rose up in the tears, but since I knew they were all lies, I got over it and moved on…so I thought.
On Tuesday, I went to an event and danced with my flags. Something was wrong…amiss. Something didn’t feel right. Even before the end of worship, I sat down and had a moment with God. Still, I hadn’t caught on to what was going on.
Last night, at JC’s Girls, we had moments of talking, moments of singing, moments of Scripture, moments of revelation. During that time, I began to cry because God was revealing something to me…turns out, I had unforgiveness. I had held onto it for almost a week. What?! How sneaky was that!
Because of this unforgiveness, my worship to God had been interrupted. He wants nothing in the way of my rejoicing of Him, but how can one “really” rejoice, while not forgiving. It creates a block, interrupts the flow…not the way I want to live EVER again.
As soon as this unforgiveness was exposed, I took care of it, released it to God and released my forgiveness. Bam! Done! It was that easy. So how did I miss it?
As I live, I learn. As I learn, I grow. As I grow, I mature. When we have something in the way of our communion with God, it’s up to us to get rid of it, not ask it to scoot over a little. There are people out there who say, “I’m not ready to forgive.” What if Jesus had said, “I’m not ready to die.”
Grace says, “I’ll forgive because I’ve been forgiven.” Legalism says, “I’ll forgive because, otherwise, God won’t forgive me.” Live in grace. Forgive because, after all you’ve done, Jesus still forgave you. If you hold onto unforgiveness (darkness), you’re letting the enemy attach to your soul, and that’s not a good way to live.
Last night, I grew a little, and the fruit of that growth is maturity. Each one of us is an individual, unique, on a different part of the path, but hopefully, we’re all pointed in the same direction.
Unforgiveness will knock us off that path, and Satan will whisper in your ear about how your not good enough to get back on it. That’s a lie from the pit of hell! Jesus didn’t die to send you to hell. Jesus died for you to be made free, but it’s up to you to seek out His simple truth, live it, and become love.