worship

Shadows

| Laura Lee Bonde

This morning, I couldn’t wait to dance with God at church!

While dancing, there was no fear about tomorrow’s appointment. There were very few thoughts of cancer whatsoever. Apart from that time, it’s been pretty constant.

It’s not constant in a way that I’m dreading it or anything. The thoughts are constant in the way they sporadically come on a regular basis.

Being scared has been sort of normal. And it doesn’t mean I’m not trusting God.

I have a lot to learn about my diet, this growth, the surgery plans, my energy, and unfortunately, I don’t believe it’ll all be answered tomorrow, so I’ll focus on what God answered today.

Today, as I was dancing, I saw the shadow of my flag on the floor. As I danced with the flag, the shadow moved. It felt like God was telling me that this cancer was but a shadow.

If I choose to give up, I’m sure the shadow would grow, but if I choose to fight, the shadow will move.

I’m a warrior, a queen.
I will not stop living, but I also will not stop writing how I feel.

“A Song” or the beginning of one

| Laura Lee Bonde

through it all
You never lost my vision
through it all
You never left my side
through it all
You welcomed each beginning
through it all
You held my hand inside

how close is Your love
how strong is Your friendship
how bold is Your faith
to believe in me

how weak are my endings
how fragile is each beginning
but every step
You’re here with me

holding on
to everything You’ve done
holding on
to everything You’ve said
holding on
to truths I cannot see
holding on
to You who’s holding me

“Negative Vibes”

| Laura Lee Bonde

I “could be” farther along than I am
but if I focus on that
I’ll miss out on where I am

but it’s just hard not to notice
what keeps holding me back

a failing business
because I keep failing
a distant marriage
because we’re still strangers
kids that keep leaving
because they’re not happy

it’s like I’m reminded every day
of what’s not right
meaning most what I see
seems wrong

so I stay in God’s word and pray
worship through my heart
and dance
every chance I get
but how does that help?

it’s like I’m reminded every day
of what’s not right
meaning most what I see
seems wrong

still looking
still waiting
still hoping
still

That Scraping Sound

| Laura Lee Bonde

On Friday night, I was invited to a worship gathering but had no idea what was in store for me.

First of all, I LOVE going places for the very first time! It never bothers me to go places alone because I’ve always “had” to go places alone. Actually, I get excited to find out where I’m going. Are you like that? Anyway, this story has a twist. Continue reading →