Betrayed into Hiding

Recently, I was talking with a friend about how being betrayed by someone had caused me to go-into-hiding, without even realizing it. The strange part was it had happened to her, too. Since then, I’ve been wondering how often that happens. I’m sure in wondering, God will reveal it.

In my situation, it was all very strange. Around that same time, different responsibilities had been surfacing, money wasn’t pouring in for gas, invitations were coming in all directions, so all of these things were masking what was really going on deep inside of me: I was hiding. Continue reading

“Dripping Heart”

my whole walk through the bible
I’ve considered God
wiping-my-tears
but if He looks at my heart
is He focused on my face

I believe the tears He wipes
are from my heart
because at times
I’m fine on the outside
and my inside’s distraught

when my heart cries out
God grabs His bottle
collects tears from my heart
and nurtures it to wholeness

perfect Love
perfect God

“Hide and Seek”

hiding inside
wanting no one to see
but God Who lives in me
gives me away

funny: I hide – He seeks
covering a wound instead of exposing it
living with fear instead of overcoming it

some wounds take time
some hearts won’t give in
when I hold back from God
He doesn’t take

He waits
until I’m willing to give it up
until I’m willing to let things go
until I’m willing to rest in His goodness
until I’m willing
He waits

when I let Him come in and give Him my pain
He teaches
He comforts
He corrects me to wholeness

for me, it was a day
how long do hearts hide
days
weeks
months
years
of isolating inside

there’s a fire in my heart to reach out
a new flame to find those who hide
to speak His life into their souls
as He fills their hearts
with His Love

Ointment of Fear

You know, some days are for reaching out to others, but every once in awhile, I feel God reaching in to me, and yesterday was one of those days.

In mid-morning, I was reminded about a feeling I had the previous day while on outreach, a feeling of longing for a husband. As I was reminded of the feeling, I experienced it all over again, so I decided to ignore it and wash dishes. It didn’t work. Continue reading

“When the Heart Won’t Talk”

there are times when the words seem locked in my heart
but I know I hold the keys to release them
so why don’t I

for most everything
I’m transparent
but there are things about parenting
I keep hidden

could it be because my mind sets on where I failed
could it be
I know that the person I was isn’t who I am now
so expressing this heart would only be healing

a mother’s heart
full of so much
overflowing with so much love that never runs out