“Around the Ring”

as much as I thought I was ready
to be a wife
I found I wasn’t ready
to be a wife

to have my body
not my own

to have time
but not alone

to have a voice
that doesn’t matter

to have ideas
but be shutdown

to have to care for
instead of cared for

or being cared for
instead of care for

to be in a city
without any friends

to have a future
without an end

I know it WILL BE good
it’s just a matter of time
and just a matter of road
to trudge on

learning to be a wife
learning to be a husband
learning to live together
as one

holy matrimony!!

“Wife v. Mom”

people wonder if I’m excited
but a part of me is sad
for what my kids are enduring

having to choose
between mom or dad
having to leave
the friends they’ve known
having to miss
those last days of school

their little hearts are so stressed
one struggling in school
treading water
one quitting sports
why bother
Carolyn leaving her boyfriend
Nathan missing the dance
and there’s more

so am excited?
does my mommy heart hurt?
will we walk through this together?

while loving each other

“May 25, 2016”

some people only like to read articles
others only like to read poems
both reveal the heart
both let people in
if it’s written in the open

tomorrow my reality becomes real
tomorrow I’ll be married four months
tomorrow I get to see my husband

many of you know
how I fell in love in an instant
with my ex-husband

I flew out to Texas to surprise him
welcomed him into my heart
and we married three days later

he’s on his way to get me
driving from Texas to pick me up
he’ll be here tomorrow

no more waiting
no more missing
no more being-on-hold

my reality becomes real
in a more tangible way
with a hug
with a kiss
with a smile

True Love

Scott is an amazing man: after all I’ve done to him, after all I’ve put him through, after all I’ve said through actions, he still loves me!