words
are the
breath
of conversation
without
the words
there’s only
suffocation
marriage
“Cloudy, with a Chance of Rain”
the quiet
brings the storm
poem after poem
wave after wave
of tears
when will my spirit
break through my soul
and Lighten the words
of my heart
a mother weaning
a wife fading
as friends turn away
and worry
all that’s left
is You in my heart
sifting through chaos
to bring clarity
as a mother
as a wife
as a friend
to a child
to a husband
to a friend
if I follow God
who cares what man thinks
but if I follow man
what will follow me
Next in Line: Cutting in front of people at the grocery store
Last night, I stayed up till midnight to celebrate my sobriety date, and here it is, almost midnight again, and I’m barely writing about it.
Every year, I seem to write about how I never think about drinking, but this year’s been different because of the last few months.
Lately, I don’t really write about how I’m feeling because, one, I’m married, and, two, I haven’t felt very positive, but to give you a little insight, here was my day, yesterday (the 23rd). Continue reading
“Straight Jacket”
the thing about isolating
is that you can’t hide
from yourself
where I go
I am
where I’ve been
I was
where I’m going
has yet to be seen
in a vision
in a dream
in my hopes
in reality
I’ve never been
in THIS place before
mentally
physically
emotionally
spiritually
surrounding me
are choices
not four corners
but a circle
and I’m the one
in the middle
rocking
DIE-IT
If tears were nourishment, I’d be healthy.
“Anonymys”
I’ve finally gotten
to the place
I never wanted
to be
where there’re no words
no expression of thought
to reach out to others
from inside
a place where I’m not
my own
a place hidden away
behind a curtain
and it breaks my heart
one thing different
about me
has been my
transparency
well
when two become one
I guess I’m not one
anymore
but two
and my other half
would like to leave
his book closed
this is so very sad to me
I can’t explain how it
hurts
and maybe – now –
I can’t
was this part of God’s plan
I can’t imagine it would be
we’ll see how it goes
maybe writing in code
if he knew what was on ‘here’
it’d break him
he only sees faKebook
and that hurts him
if I could turn back time
I’d never get married
I’d never split up my kids
I’d never be in Texas
but here I am
a writer without a pen
a poet without an outlet
a wife without a smile
a woman trapped
on the inside
“Plain Sight”
it’s odd
how invisible
sadness
can be
even though
it’s
written
all over
one’s face
“Love evoL”
[written 8/11/16]
when I think about God
I can write about love
the beauty of what it looks like
the reward of what comes forth
but when I think about some relationships
beauty’s the last word
that comes to mind
and I’m left with wondering
why?
God created relationship
if two people do it well
beauty shouldn’t be missing
it should be seen
so through the eyes of God
what should love look like?
walking hand in hand
talking and listening
building up
not tearing down
love’s giving attention
and joining in fun
digging for gold
and not wasting it
love should never be
the silent treatment
or actions from spite
love’s asking questions
and hearing opinions
it’s being who you are
ALL the time
and being present
when you’re there
do you see love?
“Underneath”
[written on August 4th, the day after Ariel was born]
in the quietness I’m reminded
of what I’m called
to do
and through it all
opposition is ugly
but joy’s indescribable
yet can never quite cover
the pain
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 