“Drowning”

I’m in this place
with no windows
tears filling the room
like rain

having friends
yet no one to talk to
having vision
yet not all the rent

how could I ask anyone
to understand
when I myself
don’t understand

every tear
leading to a thought
every thought
leading to a tear

feeling like a failure
again
feeling unattractive
again

feeling

again

without
a friend
to listen

finding myself
alone

with the only One
Who cares
the only One
Who listens
the only One
Who never judges

another day
where hiding seems to be
the only option

“False Hope”

I hate it when
dreams seem real
and they’re good
then I wake to reality
and they’re gone

I can’t explain the tears
and won’t stop them

when will that dream come true?
never

a different version will be real
someday
but for now
that dream was a nightmare

“Past Ammunition”

I love it how the past
doesn’t really matter
the only power it has
is what I give it

the past is a weapon
mixed with Jesus
to defeat darkness
not hurl me into it

some things I remember
the kids don’t
some things they remember
I don’t

God has a way of restoring all