I just don’t know where these moments of anger come from
maybe from marital disfunction
maybe from missing my kids
maybe from being in a place still new
as I walk
I see
as I see
I hear
as I hear
I listen
as I listen
I grow
yet these moments of anger still pant
from time to time
rarely voiced but always noticed
taken captive and made to bow
maybe that’s why I want to cry a lot
sitting for an hour with God
makes all the difference in this world
total peace
total quiet
total faith
to carry me through
making a difference in this world
As I’m drowning
I don’t hear You
I don’t see You
But I trust you
So I open my arms
In the midst
Sinking to the depths
Hair floating up
Air running out
As my naked body
Gently sinks
In the soaking power
Of Your love
And in this moment
I trust and believe
You’ll either pull me up
Or teach me to breathe
isolating
from
my thoughts
leads
to desolation
so
my marriage is suffocating
my kids are split up
my passion feels empty
and my dreams seem made up
So What!
I should still
be able to write
and dance
to the rhythm of hope
my creativity
CAN’T be gone
motivation should still
be in reach
blindfolded
I’m not sure
of the direction
I should go
but if
I just lean on Him
I’ll make it for sure
[written 10/9/16]
sometimes
I wonder
“if I’d done
EVERYTHING right
would things be
different?”
but then THAT
makes me wonder
“if I’d done
everything right
would I be
who I am?”
who I am
is pretty amazing
so trying to
change the past
seems
pointless
Change…it never bothered me, until everything changed; then, I learned how difficult it actually was, and so far, I haven’t handled it very well.
Even last night, at the dinner table, I was trying to remember a day I hadn’t cried and couldn’t think of one Continue reading
My writing may be a little dark for awhile because I feel like I’m in a dark place. That’s part of the reason why I haven’t been writing. The other part was I couldn’t find my laptop in the trailer, where my life just sits, waiting to enter in to this new life I’m living (if you want to call it “living”).
One thing’s for sure: writing helps me A LOT. It’s just…now…I’m not the only book on the shelf to be opened.
if I had time to write
I’d cry
if I had time to cry
I’d write
I feel like
they’re angels
dancing in my heart
to the words
that haven’t been spoken
or written
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 