“Thanksgiving”

there’s so much to be grateful for
I just don’t know where to begin

I’m grateful for knowing God
not in a surface way
but in a deep, profound way

I’m grateful for my beautiful kids
how they make decisions
apart from codependency

I’m grateful for my wonderful job
that feels like a way of life
except that I clock in and out

I’m grateful for this home
the imperfections
and the perfectness

I’m grateful for my mind
that it’s set in the right direction
and thinks soundly

I’m grateful for my Raiders car
that after 253,000 miles
it’s still going strong

I’m grateful for each moment of the day
how it happens right on time
but unexpectedly

I’m grateful for emotions
and that I’m not judged by them
or for having them

I’m grateful for transparency
that I no longer have to hide within myself
or lie to make me greater

I’m grateful for a lot of things
but most of all for God
because He’s made me complete

Telescopes

When I look at my past, I think, “No wonder I was where I was at; I didn’t know my value,” and when I look at my present, I think, “No wonder I’m where I’m at because I KNOW my value!”

Sexual Misconduct

With everything going on in the news, it’s made me wonder: why haven’t “I” ever come forward with the names of those who hurt me?

The only reason I’ve come up with is that it’s because I’ve been healed from everything, but still, many things happened…many.

Like the time I was sixteen, when the manager at Burger King told me to sleep with him or I’d be out of a job, I lost my job.

Or when shortly after that, a forty year old man seduced me for months…I didn’t know any better. If you aren’t raised right, chances are, you’re not going to choose right. Anyway, there’s more. Continue reading

“False Evidence Appearing Real”

what have I become?
I’ve become more of who I am

there’re still some words inside
holding back from coming out
and it makes me wonder

why?
who am I protecting?
who am I afraid of?

if God is for me
who can be against me?

at times…many

but in reality
as much as people have the right to bully online
I have the right to speak my mind
whether you like it or not

but still
if I can’t take the heat
there’s always the delete button