for the one who lost a baby
newborn pictures will look different
for the one in an unhappy marriage
wedding photos will lack joy
for the one who lost their kids
family pictures may not form a smile
sometimes effects of experience
change one’s perspective
and the only way to change it back
is through alignment with Him
Since we’ve lived in Texas, we’ve discovered one VERY depressing thing: carne asada fries originated in San Diego and are only available in Continue reading
since leaving Lemon Grove
I’ve been oppressed
and let me tell you
the dark can get darker
along the road
many turned away
some remained silent
while others stood by
praying
hoping
holding
believing
many said
not to write
or at least
not out loud
but if they only knew
how many times
I held a pen
how many journals
were sent
and as I sat there
with pen in hand
only tears would
fall
when ink
becomes tears
pages become
warped
with every thing inside
I felt buried
with no where to express
parts died
but maybe they needed to
for other parts to live
when a forest burns
new life grows
because what once was shaded
now has light
to those who turned away
welcome back
to those who stayed
let’s move on
to those who were silent
I’m ready to listen
the unloved
just want to be loved
the unversed
just want to know
the unjust
just want things fair
the unknown
just want to be seen
the unwanted
just want to be needed
when you meet
the “uns”
just let life
of the opposite
flow
then the part of them
that wants
will receive
and break free
it’s a place that can be
hidden or wide
open
it feels every loss
and hopes for
every gain
it watches and waits
believing and
hoping
it sees what’s going
on and what
could be
it knows what’s in
the eyes and
movements
it can always find
the lies behind
the truth
it’s a safe place to feel
and even safer place
to know
it rises up and stands
when others feel
defeated
it cowers in the dark
when feeling
overwhelmed
it can speak through
tears and be seen
through joy
it protects
guides and
loves
it’s a mother’s
heart who’s
received
“Don’t let him decide!”
“Be the parent!”
“Go back on your word!”
“He’ll get over it!”
etc.
This was the advice I was given, time and time again, about whether or not to let Nathan choose where he wanted to live Continue reading
there’s a difference between
wanting to die
and
not wanting to live
I know
because I was there yesterday
oh how I want to write about it
but there’s an element of hiding
that can’t be seen
it’s not that I’m isolating
FROM any one
it’s that I’m isolating TO
the only One Who can help
but this process NEEDS
to be written
it just may need to be
the old-fashioned way
you used to know her
where is she?
I’ve looked and can’t find her
blurred vision
gasping for air
searching in the midst
the air is thick
the path is dark
have you seen her?
did she go this way?
it’s like she’s invisible
except in the mirror
staring back at me
what you go through
in those moments of despair
is a hopeless state of mind
drowning in fears
treading water
just to breathe
as you see the straws
float by
not realizing
that every tear
has a story
and every story
causes the water
to rise
but maybe in sinking
you’ll swim
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 