For some reason, ever since mom passed away, I really wanted flowers, so today, I finally went and bought some.
I guess you’d imagine that I’d get her favorite flower, but I have no idea what that was, so I bought my favorite color (yellow) and my favorite smell (carnations) and combined the two.
As I stood in line to pay, Continue reading
Before you start reading, I want to let you know: this will be a sad one because, today, I’m writing for my personal healing and have already been crying, so you know…
The other night, I got to go to The Prelude again. It’d been a while, and I thought I hadn’t gone because my life had changed, and I’d been pretty busy working, leaving my husband, and starting a new life with my daughter, but as it turns out, something more had been keeping me from there, or should I say, some”one”… Continue reading
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had bad credit, yet I’ve never owned a credit card. My low standing has always been from no credit (which is sometimes worse) and outstanding hospital bills and such. Well, the bill part’s been paid off for awhile, but the no credit part has always lingered.
From time to time, I’d apply for different credit opportunities at “Victoria Secret,” “Discount Tire,” “Target,” etc., and ever time, I was declined, and I’ve never really needed to do anything about it, until recently.
Back in December, I had the chance to go to New York with Kyle, but I had to buy my own plane tickets. Well, that wasn’t going to happen because I continually live paycheck to paycheck. Thankfully, a friend of mine put the tickets on her credit card, and I’m paying her back, but it got me thinking, “I need to work on my credit, just in case things like this come up,” so I made a vow to myself to do just that.
In January, I looked online for ways to bring up your credit score, and time and time again, I saw that it was helpful to have a credit card, so I put my thoughts on the back burner, until last week, when my bank sent me an email.
In the email, they said I could, now, check my credit score through my account. When I clicked on the link, I found my credit score was in the red, a whopping 557 (those of you who know about credit scores know that that’s a low one). Upon seeing that number, I emailed the bank about my chances of obtaining a credit card.
After being forwarded three times, I was told that the credit application process would go through a third party and that the bank wouldn’t have any say so in the matter, so I’d given up, but then, something changed.
That night, after my shift (at ten of clock at night), I decided, “What the hay, Laura! Just try it!”, so I went online and applied, and within seconds, I was approved for my very first credit card ever!
It has a limit of five hundred dollars and will be used for gas, and every month, I’ll set aside my gas money to pay it off. In no time at all, I’ll have credit in the green, instead of in the red.
Anyway, there’s my “growing up” story for you! I wanted to share it with you but wanted to have the card in hand FIRST!!
With everything going on in the news, it’s made me wonder: why haven’t “I” ever come forward with the names of those who hurt me?
The only reason I’ve come up with is that it’s because I’ve been healed from everything, but still, many things happened…many.
Like the time I was sixteen, when the manager at Burger King told me to sleep with him or I’d be out of a job, I lost my job.
Or when shortly after that, a forty year old man seduced me for months…I didn’t know any better. If you aren’t raised right, chances are, you’re not going to choose right. Anyway, there’s more. Continue reading
You know, because of my consistency of not writing on here, I’m not even sure anyone knows about my friends who passed away.
Rob Johnson, who was my best friend here in Harlingen, overdosed on Heroin in May and passed away in June. He never regained consciousness. He was thirty-three.
And Lee, my beautiful homeless friend who didn’t die homeless, died of unknown reasons in early October. They haven’t found his family yet, and if they don’t, they’ll let me claim him and send me his ashes.
Both of them knew how much I loved them. I’m so happy for that!
Just so you know, this post’ll have a lot of emotion, so if you don’t want to “feel,” scroll on.
I’m tired: I’m tired of hiding my website; I’m tired of hiding from certain people on Facebook; I’m tired of a lot of things, but as I sit here in tears, unable to stop, I’ll write because that’s how I get through things best. Continue reading
I say “another” job because making flags is my first job (although, not everyone in my life considers it one).
A few days ago, I started working as a Recovery Advocate at Origins, a treatment center on South Padre Island!
Yesterday, after my swim, I went up to the lifeguards to tell them I’d been sober twelve years. They were so excited for me!! It left me wondering: do others do that?
I’ve never been ashamed of my recovery. Actually, it’s the exact opposite: I’m very proud of being sober, having worked the steps through alcoholics anonymous, having gone even deeper with God in His word…very proud, indeed!
I never had hope of even being able to go ONE DAY without alcohol. Actually, there’s a funny story about that.
When I first started going to church in 2004, they had a women’s retreat, which I was invited to attend, so I did but was deathly afraid of how I’d be able to sleep without drinking, so you know what I did? I took Benadryl with me, so I could knock myself out at night, but to my surprise, I never used it. I was stunned! But it didn’t stop me from drinking as soon as I got back, and it took me another year and a half before I finally listened to God about going to AA.
Man, you wanna talk about a prison! It was a horrible way to live! I would leave bible studies paranoid because I thought they’d follow me to the liquor store and catch me buying booze. I was ALWAYS looking over my shoulder.
If you, by chance, are reading this post and have a problem with anything, please message me or something, so I can pray for you. You DON’T have to be alone EVER AGAIN!
Yesterday, I was surprised that I never got around to writing about my sobriety, but then again, I wasn’t that surprised at all.
You see, there’s been a fear in me about writing: who can know; things aren’t perfect; how can I be honest without drowning others; how can I be transparent without exposing…the list of fears goes on and on, and that list has kept me from writing, but that’s letting fear control me, which isn’t who I am at all.
The moment I stepped into God, Continue reading
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 