Life Transformations

Somewhat of a Mess Every Day

| Laura Lee Bonde

You know what the hardest part about losing Nathan’s presence is? I can’t “see” him every day. Yes, with technology, that’s possible, but he doesn’t have WiFi, and I can’t afford data for him, so even if he took a selfie every day, he wouldn’t be able to send it without data. (Thanks, iPhone!)

I know I’m whining, but my soul hurts, and I’m not sure what to do with that. Since he’s been gone, only a couple people’ve asked how I’m doing, but because I’ve never gone through this, I’m not sure if I’m handling it well or not.

All I know is…
I miss him.
I cry multiple times a day.
I haven’t found a very happy ending.
I feel less than as a mom.
I feel like years have been stolen.

But I don’t want to be so lost in feelings that I miss my time with Carolyn and Katie, so I plan to spend the rest of the day through my spirit.

A Good Reason Not to Exercise:: Scary Dogs!!

| Laura Lee Bonde

Every once in a while, I go jogging, and today happened to be one of those whiles, and to be honest, it was a HUGE step for me, but after today’s lesson, I’m sure I’ll do it again…sooner rather than later.

This morning, my plan was to jog as far as I could in thirty minutes, but as I approached the end of the second block, my plan changed. Continue reading →

Sticking Together

| Laura Lee Bonde

In life, there’re many types of glue: people; laughter; friends…and over the past month, Katie and I’ve learned a lot about the friendship one.

Since we’ve been in Texas, it’s been rough for a few reasons, but none of them are as important as what we’ve discovered along the way. Continue reading →

Cold Front

| Laura Lee Bonde

Lately, I’ve experienced a lot of change, but the other night, someone else did, and it wasn’t good.

Since Scott’s picked us up from San Diego and brought us to Texas, there’s been barely any laughter, mainly because he’s been a totally different person than the man I married (and not in a good way). The oppression was intense, but I, finally, made it through it with the help of God, my AA friends, and laughter. Continue reading →

Polished to Shine

| Laura Lee Bonde

[written 10/14/16]

Recently, I was accused of holding Carolyn and Nathan here against their will. Of course, that’s not true, but instead of wasting my time explaining myself to the few who’ve interfered with my life, I’m going to tell you what’s going on with Carolyn, so you can see for yourself how she’s shined. Continue reading →

MIA

| Laura Lee Bonde

For the past week or so, I’ve been “mia” because I drove my son back to San Diego to live with his dad. From Harlingen, TX to San Diego, CA was a long drive, but driving back without him was even longer.

Soon, I’ll catch up on my blog, but for now, just know I’m “okay.” Not great. Not fantastical. Just okay.

this should be where the title goes

| Laura Lee Bonde

Okay, so, I like words and definitions, and almost every day, I look up at least one word, and when I find out the meaning, a deeper revelation comes about what I’d been searching. Well, tonight, I looked up the word “family” and began to cry.

family:: a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.

If you know me and know what I’m going through, you’ll know why I cried. [We leave in the morning.]

If you don’t know what I’m going through, don’t worry about it because there’s too much to explain.