Celebrating Recovery

Yesterday, after my swim, I went up to the lifeguards to tell them I’d been sober twelve years. They were so excited for me!! It left me wondering: do others do that?

I’ve never been ashamed of my recovery. Actually, it’s the exact opposite: I’m very proud of being sober, having worked the steps through alcoholics anonymous, having gone even deeper with God in His word…very proud, indeed!

I never had hope of even being able to go ONE DAY without alcohol. Actually, there’s a funny story about that.

When I first started going to church in 2004, they had a women’s retreat, which I was invited to attend, so I did but was deathly afraid of how I’d be able to sleep without drinking, so you know what I did? I took Benadryl with me, so I could knock myself out at night, but to my surprise, I never used it. I was stunned! But it didn’t stop me from drinking as soon as I got back, and it took me another year and a half before I finally listened to God about going to AA.

Man, you wanna talk about a prison! It was a horrible way to live! I would leave bible studies paranoid because I thought they’d follow me to the liquor store and catch me buying booze. I was ALWAYS looking over my shoulder.

If you, by chance, are reading this post and have a problem with anything, please message me or something, so I can pray for you. You DON’T have to be alone EVER AGAIN!

Sobriety

Yesterday, I was surprised that I never got around to writing about my sobriety, but then again, I wasn’t that surprised at all.

You see, there’s been a fear in me about writing: who can know; things aren’t perfect; how can I be honest without drowning others; how can I be transparent without exposing…the list of fears goes on and on, and that list has kept me from writing, but that’s letting fear control me, which isn’t who I am at all.

The moment I stepped into God, Continue reading

“Back to Square One”

throughout living
so many things change
time
moments
love
moods
seasons

and amidst the change
there’s growth
and amidst the growth
there’s pain
and amidst the pain
there’re tears
and amidst the tears
you may find a friend

but even friends
change with time

those close by
seem far away
those far away
seem close by
some acquaintances
become friends
some friends
become acquaintances
and through it all
I often find myself

alone

in church
aa
relationships

yes people are there
and some become friends
but as I walk to each path
I’m alone

I KNOW God is with me
but even HE said
it’s not good
for “man” to be alone
yet HE was there

so as I drive to AA
as I visit different churches
and in certain conversations
I’m alone

I get turned around but never lost
it seems heavy but always light
I get weary but grab hold
of the ONE Who never changes
and someday
I won’t be

alone

“Step by Step”

[written 10/29/16]

the road of recovery
is rest in the unknown
becoming who you are
forgetting who you were

when traveled alone
every inch
feels like a mile

but with friends
all of a sudden
you turn around
and realize you’ve walked
a marathon

Sticking Together

In life, there’re many types of glue: people; laughter; friends…and over the past month, Katie and I’ve learned a lot about the friendship one.

Since we’ve been in Texas, it’s been rough for a few reasons, but none of them are as important as what we’ve discovered along the way. Continue reading

More Than a Message

In AA, you share your experience, strength, and hope. Well, while I was in San Diego, celebrating my sobriety at a meeting, a woman came empty and left complete. Here’s what happened:

Yesterday morning (10/7), my friend, Jimbo, gave me my 11 year token, and as I was sharing, I talked about life, Jesus, and freedom from depression, and after I sat down, a woman approached me and asked if I’d pray for her after the meeting, so I did.

As we were talking, she said she wanted to know about my God, so I told her about Jesus, and guess what? Now, she KNOWS my God: she entered in to the heart of Jesus!!

You know, everyone has their own choice in which path to walk on, so I’m glad there’s freedom to share about what we believe, just in case anyone else’d like to follow.

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Me, Jimbo, and my friend, Bill