Alternate Endings

December fourth, two thousand and sixteen…a day I’ll never forget.

It was a Friday, and I’d woken up from a bad dream. If I remember correctly, I woke up crying, and it turned out to be one of the most depressing mornings I’d had, and to top it all off, I felt a cold coming on.

You see, during that time, everything was so unsure: the business, my income, our groceries, etc., and the next day, I was scheduled to have a booth at the Rock and had some mixed emotions about THAT. Anyway, it was a tough morning, but I made it through by writing.

If you visit my website, you’ll find a calendar with daily writings. I believe the fourth was some of my darkest thoughts, but by the afternoon, I felt much better, and then, Katie came in.

She said, “Mom, I have something to tell you. I’m pregnant.” Continue reading

Time to Create

I wonder if God waits for us to make the time for Him to fully move through us, to play with our imagination, to make His reality of heaven come to life here on earth. On the second day of my new job, I designed a new flag, and it’s absolutely gorgeous! And wouldn’t you know it: I argued with God about it. Continue reading

Life After Birth

God doesn’t need birth to bring forth new life.

On July 2, 2014, I had a dream where I wasn’t able to get pregnant, and that wasn’t a good feeling.

A little bit about me: In my younger years, I drug my kids through a lot of stuff by living a life in the dark. I don’t need to go into detail of what was done or how I lived, but I can assure you, it wasn’t pleasant. All of that is drenched in the blood of Jesus. I’ve sought forgiveness and received it.  I’ve thought about what it would be like to carry a child and give birth, while being in love with Him. I used to ask God for a husband and for that chance.

Back to the dream: when I awoke from this dream of disappointment of not being able to get pregnant, I heard the words, “God doesn’t need birth to bring forth new life.”

This spoke so loudly to me. From when I started walking closely with the Lord until now, each child of mine has become a new person. As I was delivered from more and more darkness, they were exposed to more and more Light, and principalities lost their strong holds on my family.  Although I didn’t have actual childbirth and all that goes with it, as a family, we went through emotional pain, and each one of us has been brought forth into new life.

For my kids, further individual healing will come, and for my family, new life has been brought forth, and we are able to enjoy the Kingdom of Heaven here on earth. We have regular “Game Days” where we come together, play board games, laugh, and have a lot of fun. We don’t dwell in the time that was lost. We relish in the time that we have now. Today, I’m a good, godly mother to them, and you can see their joy in their eyes when they smile. Glory to God for changing my heart and my mind and for giving me this new life to live!!