“Change of Scenery”

I’ve found what I was waiting for
right in front of me

I wonder how often that happens

to look for something
in plain sight
to search for something
you step over
to reach for something
in your hand

God’s been teaching me
through struggle
and revealing Himself
through love

Disney had it wrong
church is something different
but straight from God
won’t be denied

friendship in love
love in friendship

simply given
complicated to receive

so many questions of
should I
if I
what about

but none of them trump
what He says
none of it disguises
His desire in my heart

love is a choice
choosing to love is an option

“The Nursery”

thank God my past is dead
and my heart is new

I love when I meet people
and let them know me
and they say
I never would’ve guessed

the gift of becoming love
is that you have your whole life
to love others well

which creates healing
soothes discomfort
opens the door
to be set free

life’s taken a turn
of clarity
instead of being swept off my feet
who can I sweep off their feet

seven children
bore four
killed three

oh how I love
who’s in front of me
and Who’d inside of me
loving those in front of Him

“Yesteryear”

a year that held
so much for me
so much to remember
and grow from

it was the year
of many beginnings
and some endings
a year of growth
and struggling

of writing my first poem
and then four hundred more
of writing thirty songs
some to music
of starting a business
walking away from a job

spending more time with
my kids
the ones who matter most

spending time with the youth
with the homeless
with good friends

so much to hold onto
so much to let go of

and all of it experienced
through God’s heart

Christmas Dinner

I’m not sure when it started, but somewhere along the line, we started a tradition of having ham on Christmas day, and as Kyle and I were shopping for Thanksgiving, he mentioned our Christmas ham, so I knew what I’d be cooking on Christmas.

Although money’s been tight, I knew we’d have our ham because Scott would be with us, and he always takes me grocery shopping. Well, this time, I asked him if we could have steaks one night because I never have the money to buy them.Of course, he said yes, so I was able to get steaks and many more things from the store.

Our plan was to have the ham on Christmas and the steaks another night, but God had different plans for us. It turned out, we had our ham Christmas afternoon and the steaks Christmas evening.

As I was cooking the baked potatoes, Scott was getting the grill ready, so I snapped a picture of the steaks. I hadn’t remembered the last time we had them and wasn’t sure when we’d have them again, so I wanted to grab a memory.IMG_1141

While we were all sitting down eating, it dawned on me: we’d almost lived here four years and had never eaten steaks in our home. So, our first time of eating home-cooked steaks was on Christmas. What a good memory to make!

We’ve had so many good times the last couple of weeks, even though we’ve taken turns being sick. We’ve laughed over games, watched movies and football together, hugged, exchanged “I love you”‘s, and just enjoyed the moments.

And as usual, we forgot to take pictures, but sometimes, the pictures in the heart are clearer than the pictures on the screen.

(At least, I got a picture of those beautiful steaks!)

 

“Fairy Tales”

there comes a point in time
when love becomes a choice

choosing to listen
instead of ignore
choosing to obey
instead of fall away
choosing to be present
instead of online
choosing to love well
instead of waiting

to be swept off your feet
to be rescued
to be wooed by a feeling

the glass slipper may never fit
but that shouldn’t stop love

there’s a bigger picture
where choosing love
brings definition

“Drowning”

I’m in this place
with no windows
tears filling the room
like rain

having friends
yet no one to talk to
having vision
yet not all the rent

how could I ask anyone
to understand
when I myself
don’t understand

every tear
leading to a thought
every thought
leading to a tear

feeling like a failure
again
feeling unattractive
again

feeling

again

without
a friend
to listen

finding myself
alone

with the only One
Who cares
the only One
Who listens
the only One
Who never judges

another day
where hiding seems to be
the only option