God

“Knowing Without Reading”

| Laura Lee Bonde

[written 8/10/16]

so often I read posts
of good things happening
of people doing well
happiness abound
and in the comments
I read
‘God loves you so much’
‘you’re His favorite’
etc

but if one’s discouraged
and reads of this love
are they left thinking
‘does He love me?’
not many posts of turmoil
have comments of
‘God loves you so much’
‘you’re His favorite’
etc

it’s better for one to know
who-they-are
and not go off of
how-they-feel
because
no matter what
‘God loves you so much’
‘you’re His favorite’
and more

“Without a Map”

| Laura Lee Bonde

someplace in my heart
words have grown silent
kept away
to hide how I feel

there’s just so much
going on

if my thoughts were a city
there’d be roads without signs
conversations without people
a cloud covering of doubt
not a good place to live

such a difference
from before

I think about decisions I’ve made
and ones pending

what’s worth the fight?
what needs to change?

I’ll never encourage one
to marry a stranger
I’ll never give advice
without listening

I used to think I was a leader
but now…
it might not be a good time
to follow

“Relationship Takes Two”

| Laura Lee Bonde

under His Glory
beneath the stars
on solid ground

He spends time with me

under His Glory
beneath the stars
on solid ground

I spend time with Him

could you imagine
if one of us
didn’t

if only “I” was talking
never hearing from God
never seeing a sign

and what about Him

if “He” was only talking
as I lived my life
apart from Him

Hosea was placed
in marriage
for a purpose

to show how
one-sided
the relationship was

my prayer is for all
to spend time with Him

under His Glory
beneath the stars
on solid ground

“Translation”

| Laura Lee Bonde

in a whisper
you’d know my life
and respond

but do we
really know
what to say

what to hear

there’re times
when things seem
so wrong
then I think
did I hear Him?

and sometimes fear
to listen again
in case I hear wrong

have you ever
told God
you won’t listen?

i have
not really won’t
but can’t

and in those moments
God’s listening
waiting to answer

“For Your Eye Site”

| Laura Lee Bonde

man, my writing used to be
full of life one could breathe
but now
it seems to be one moment
of despair
after another
I wanna be that life for you
for my family
for my husband
but when you’re unhappy in marriage
you tend to gasp
for air

I went from absolute freedom
to losing at childish games
passive aggressiveness
silence with problems
different ambitions
actually, no ambitions
opposite health
goals
everything

I can’t even explain it
or maybe I shouldn’t
it-takes-two
has turned to one
but I know what I’m good for

being corrected
being demeaned
being smiled at
sex

there’s no intimacy
apart from sex
there’s no interest
in anyone else
but the cat

I wasn’t blind
things were hidden
I felt God speak
so I jumped
without a parachute
and landed
too broken to move

so I breathe
in and out
in and out
in and
out
in
and out

it’s there
where I think to go on
or not
behind closed doors
deeply in God
anything’s possible
but as I take on the day
I feel ruined

trapped
in words
trapped
in thought
trapped
in side

this is another one
of those hidden poems
in plain site