in a whisper
you’d know my life
and respond

but do we
really know
what to say

what to hear

there’re times
when things seem
so wrong
then I think
did I hear Him?

and sometimes fear
to listen again
in case I hear wrong

have you ever
told God
you won’t listen?

i have
not really won’t
but can’t

and in those moments
God’s listening
waiting to answer

Don’t Miss the Miracle

For the past couple weeks, the Harlingen High School’s been putting on a strength and conditioning camp for free, but on Thursday, something was different: this time, Nathan showed up.


I know I’ve mentioned how hard this move’s been on Nathan, so getting him excited about football’s been challenging because there’re many things that discourage his mind (the weather, not knowing the kids, not having his brother coaching, etc.), but through it all, I’ve been trying to get him involved.

So far, Nathan’s being playing (a very little bit) on the 7-on-7 team, so he’d hadn’t been able to go to the conditioning camp (not like he wanted to anyway), but the 7-on-7 games ended a week ago Thursday, so he’s had time to go but hasn’t had the heart to.

A week ago Friday, I took him but found out they didn’t meet on Fridays. Then, on Monday, I had a tax meeting to go to and couldn’t take him, so Tuesday was “supposed” to be the day, but Nathan didn’t want to go, so I talked him into going and watching.

For about an hour, we sat in the car and watched the kids work out. As a mom, it broke my heart, and eventually, we left.

The next conditioning was to be on Wednesday, which was also youth group, so I gave Nathan the option of which to go to: youth group or football, and he chose youth group, which was fine by me.

At the church they go to for youth group, they also had a special speaker, so I decided to stay for it, and right before it began, the youth group came in, so Carolyn, Nathan, and I ended up listening to the same message, which spoke to each of us.

On Thursday, guess where Nathan chose to go: the strength and conditioning camp, and boy, was it a HARD workout! I stayed and watched every minute. Actually, it was so difficult for me; I wished I had a friend with me. Watching him try so hard, knowing what he’s been going through, feeling the heat…it took everything in me NOT to cry, but I held every tear inside and supported him.

Even now, I’m crying. This transition’s been so difficult! It’s one thing to go through it, but it’s another thing to watch your kids go through it. Anyway, even though he’d wanted to quit, he never gave up.

Afterward, on our way home, he spoke about the night before. He said, “Last night, that guy talked about God calling you where you didn’t want to go because that’s where the miracle’s hidden. I knew He meant football, so that’s why I went, but I didn’t see the miracle.”

He may not’ve seen it, but I did. Nathan showing up WAS the miracle! He’d heard God’s voice, followed it, and never gave up!

You know, I’ve heard it said before that “brave people” step out in faith, but actually, it’s the stepping out in faith which makes people brave. Nathan did it! He tackled the heat, the loneliness, the not knowing anyone, the isolation, the fear, and NEVER GAVE UP! And through it all, he may’ve made a friend.

Oh, and remember how I’d said I wished I’d had a friend with me? The next time we go, Carolyn said she’d go with me!

Wrecking Ball

Last week, on my way back from Orange County, my left wheel in front started making this grinding/scraping noises. It happened when I accelerated, broke, turned…at various times.

When I got home, I parked and left it, until it was fixed. Wednesday, Robert went with me to have it checked out, and of course, the sound had stopped, so I seemed a little nutty. Luckily, I have a witness of the original occurrence and then another one from last night. Continue reading

Silent Motivation

Yesterday, I had such a good day with God and also had moments of tears: some of them good, some of them sad. Normally, I’d rather share with you about things “after” I’ve gone through them, but there are times, when, God will ask me to share with you “while” I’m going through them, and THIS is one of those time, so [sigh] here we go. Continue reading