Commanding the body

As I was listening to worship music on the way to work yesterday, this prayer came out.

It was like, out of nowhere, something snapped.

I had a very stearn talk with the cells, tissue, and muscle in my body and told them they needed to contain this shit, until the doctor can get it out! (Yes, I said shit in my prayer. It happens sometime.)

I also reminded everything in my body who was Boss and told them God gave them specific instructions on how to keep me healthy and they better GET TO WORK!

Then, I had a talk with joy.

I told joy how I realized it was buried and that it better rise up and overflow!!

Anyway, yesterday, I didn’t breakdown once.

I love you all!

“Through the Window”

[written 10/14/16]

you know what I love about being open?
you see the good times and bad

you see the moments
that’ve made me laugh
and the quicksand of tears
that’ve pulled me under

you see life being lived
and some death of myself

you’ve seen

I don’t mind being me and living where I am
it was those moments of wanting to die
that bothered me so

people need love
so why not be it wherever I go

there’re those who hate God
and those who seek Him
or something at least
and the aroma of His love
is the fragrance that’ll draw
people closer to His heart

“Remote Control”

when you’re complete with God’s love
nothing else’s needed
when you know who you are
the mirror’s your friend

this move’s been a battle
that I’ve taken personally
but it’s not against “me”
it’s to tear down the Kingdom

but that’s not happening
not today
not tomorrow
not on MY watch

before I’m a mother
before I’m a wife
before I’m a friend
I’m a mighty woman of god

and this mighty woman
plans on winning every battle
because the Joy of the Lord
is my Strength

True Joy Doesn’t Always Laugh

I visited another church this morning, and many wonderful things happened, but one of them stood out the most.

Right after they sang a few songs, they announced to walk around and greet people, so I did, and after a few hellos, a woman approached me and said, “Wow, you have so much joy! I see it everywhere.” You know what stood out to me the most about that? She’s never heard me laugh.

Somewhere along the way, I related “my” laughter with HIS joy, but it’s not that at all. When she’d looked into my eyes, His joy was all she saw. I loved that!

Actually, I never laughed once the whole time I was there, and it had nothing to do with my emotional state. I just didn’t find anything funny.

This may seem real simple, but it had a HUGE impact on me. My whole time with Him there was REALLY powerful! There’ll be more to come.

“Fruit Cemetery”

I love it when
a thought comes through
and passes right by
like the wind

those are the thoughts
I take captive
blowing each away
before it takes root

but not all the time

some thoughts
I make a place for
setting them at a table to feast
on the fruits of my spirit

nibbling at the joy
the love
the patience
and more

not even noticing the plates
until they’re empty
feeling an absence

of course
none of that’s real
nothing can be taken
only buried


“When you seek and find God, all the short-cuts to “happiness” become superficial, shallow, and knowingly dissatisfying. You now embark on a journey of seeking & knowing this God that gives life, fullness, joy, and hope.”” – Jessica T.

“Dear Santa”

cleaning the garage
I came across two letters
from my girls

one asking for twenty five minutes
the other asking for fifty nine minutes
of a loving family

that moment
when you feel your heart break
and drip

I began to cry
THIS is why I’m so grateful
THIS is why I write

do you have any idea what HE’s done?
do you even know how HE’s changed my life?

my grateful tears
ran into regret
and the sobbing began

always referred to as bad
but how can one not

searching deeper within
I looked up regret’s definition

as a verb
feel sad

as a noun
feeling of sadness

I regret the damage I’ve caused others
I regret certain things from the past
but it’s not a verb I practice
and it’s not a noun I live in

I breathe
and live
in joy

grateful that I’m