“Dear Santa”

yesterday
cleaning the garage
I came across two letters
from my girls

one asking for twenty five minutes
the other asking for fifty nine minutes
of a loving family

that moment
when you feel your heart break
and drip

I began to cry
THIS is why I’m so grateful
THIS is why I write

do you have any idea what HE’s done?
do you even know how HE’s changed my life?

my grateful tears
ran into regret
and the sobbing began

regret
always referred to as bad
but how can one not

searching deeper within
I looked up regret’s definition

as a verb
feel sad
repentant
disappointment

as a noun
feeling of sadness
repentance
disappointment

I regret the damage I’ve caused others
I regret certain things from the past
but it’s not a verb I practice
and it’s not a noun I live in

I breathe
stand
and live
in joy

grateful that I’m
forgiven

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