The skeletons of my past

A friend asked me to make a wish list on Amazon and ordered everything on it. Let me tell you a little about him.

He first met me when I was a senior in high school. This was when I was emancipated, before I had to drop out.

He knew me in my stripping days, when I was up to no good. I think it was during that time we lost contact.

Well, recently, he found me on Facebook. At first, I was a little scared because he knows some of those skeletons in my closet, but I quickly learned that he wanted to be friends again.

When he offered to buy me some things, it was hard for me to think of what I needed, of what I wanted. As I added some things, one item was pretty pricey. Again, it was a “wish” list, so I wasn’t sure what he would buy.

When he contacted me yesterday to tell me he bought it all, I was floored. I even sent him a message that I didn’t know what to say. He responded with this:

“I know where you came from and I see the transformation to who you are today!!”

It’s still ovewhelming to me.

I’m glad he knew me then and sees me now. I hope we don’t lose contact this time.

“Change is Good”

when you become a Christian
things around you won’t be perfect
but the heart inside you will be
which makes everything around you

you become LIGHT
instead of lost in darkness

you become Love
instead of obsessed with lust

you become Peace
instead of connected to drama

you become Hope
instead of drowning in fear

there’s so much more
than just believing
it’s a transformation
from one life to the next

“Dear Santa”

cleaning the garage
I came across two letters
from my girls

one asking for twenty five minutes
the other asking for fifty nine minutes
of a loving family

that moment
when you feel your heart break
and drip

I began to cry
THIS is why I’m so grateful
THIS is why I write

do you have any idea what HE’s done?
do you even know how HE’s changed my life?

my grateful tears
ran into regret
and the sobbing began

always referred to as bad
but how can one not

searching deeper within
I looked up regret’s definition

as a verb
feel sad

as a noun
feeling of sadness

I regret the damage I’ve caused others
I regret certain things from the past
but it’s not a verb I practice
and it’s not a noun I live in

I breathe
and live
in joy

grateful that I’m

Hope Looking Back

Last night, I had the privilege of speaking to about twenty women in an AA meeting at the San Diego Rescue Mission. It turned out to be a “mandatory” meeting for these ladies, and by the looks on some of their faces, you could tell, but by the end of the meeting, I saw hope in every set of eyes looking back at me. Continue reading

“Just Ask”

if you knew me
you’d see my heart is pure
if you knew me
you’d see I’ve died to self
if you knew me
there’s things you wouldn’t question
if you knew me
you’d see my life has changed

if you don’t know me
just ask
I’ll tell you anything

“Living Water”

relaxing in Your Presence
basking in Your Glory
bathing in Your SonLight
I am free

refreshing comes from within
Kingdom High released
never thirsty
never hungry
moisture in the air
light within the tunnel

no curse to fear
no fall to endure
no sinful nature
I am free