you can’t make
a parent
bond with their child
and you can’t make
a person
bond with their spouse
you can’t make
a teacher
bond with their student
but without that bond
what’re you left with
a child without love
a spouse without trust
a student without direction
thank God for God
Who takes what’s broken
and makes it whole
just don’t withhold
any piece of your heart
throughout living
so many things change
time
moments
love
moods
seasons
and amidst the change
there’s growth
and amidst the growth
there’s pain
and amidst the pain
there’re tears
and amidst the tears
you may find a friend
but even friends
change with time
those close by
seem far away
those far away
seem close by
some acquaintances
become friends
some friends
become acquaintances
and through it all
I often find myself
alone
in church
aa
relationships
yes people are there
and some become friends
but as I walk to each path
I’m alone
I KNOW God is with me
but even HE said
it’s not good
for “man” to be alone
yet HE was there
so as I drive to AA
as I visit different churches
and in certain conversations
I’m alone
I get turned around but never lost
it seems heavy but always light
I get weary but grab hold
of the ONE Who never changes
and someday
I won’t be
alone
every day
I break down
at least once
there’s been this sense of
lack
of responsibility
one less mouth to feed
one less child to wake
less clothes to wash
one less attitude to correct
one less
clearly I found
part of my identity
in being a mom
so if you find that part of me
let me know
Before I write…my son hasn’t passed away; he’s moved away.
The past few weeks have been a whirlwind, and I’ll take you through it for two reasons: one…to bring you up to speed, and two…so I’ll remember for one of my books. Continue reading
For the past week or so, I’ve been “mia” because I drove my son back to San Diego to live with his dad. From Harlingen, TX to San Diego, CA was a long drive, but driving back without him was even longer.
Soon, I’ll catch up on my blog, but for now, just know I’m “okay.” Not great. Not fantastical. Just okay.
it’s a place that can be
hidden or wide
open
it feels every loss
and hopes for
every gain
it watches and waits
believing and
hoping
it sees what’s going
on and what
could be
it knows what’s in
the eyes and
movements
it can always find
the lies behind
the truth
it’s a safe place to feel
and even safer place
to know
it rises up and stands
when others feel
defeated
it cowers in the dark
when feeling
overwhelmed
it can speak through
tears and be seen
through joy
it protects
guides and
loves
it’s a mother’s
heart who’s
received
“Don’t let him decide!”
“Be the parent!”
“Go back on your word!”
“He’ll get over it!”
etc.
This was the advice I was given, time and time again, about whether or not to let Nathan choose where he wanted to live Continue reading
the quiet
brings the storm
poem after poem
wave after wave
of tears
when will my spirit
break through my soul
and Lighten the words
of my heart
a mother weaning
a wife fading
as friends turn away
and worry
all that’s left
is You in my heart
sifting through chaos
to bring clarity
as a mother
as a wife
as a friend
to a child
to a husband
to a friend
if I follow God
who cares what man thinks
but if I follow man
what will follow me
As a mother, I’m about to make one of the hardest decisions of my life, but the decision made will have an impact on my children, and I’m not sure what to choose. Continue reading
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 