As a mother, I’m about to make one of the hardest decisions of my life, but the decision made will have an impact on my children, and I’m not sure what to choose.
Back in December, I fell in love with my ex-husband, and in January, I married him, which meant the kids and I’d be moving to Texas, and I was excited.
I thought this’d be good. I thought this was God, yet since we’ve been here, I’ve been doubting more and more.
Before we left, I gave the younger kids the decision to make on whether they’d stay with me in Texas or move back with their dad in San Diego. Carolyn’s sixteen, and Nathan’s thirteen. I really didn’t think of “making them” do one thing or another. I thought it was their right, as young adults, to make up their minds, and I thought it was healthy to let them choose, but now, I don’t know.
My thirteen year old “hates” it here. I mean…H-A-T-E-S it here. Here’re all the factors he’s been dealing with.
- Extreme heat
- An unhappy home (my husband and I haven’t been getting along at all)
- No friends
- New school (with STRICT rules)
- Teenage pregnancies are common here
- Missing his friends
- Missing his dad
- New step-dad
There’s probably more, but that should give you an idea. Now, let’s write out my options and what I’ve been told.
Keeping Him in Texas
When you have friendships, (hopefully) you have transparency, and with that comes advice. I’ve been told that if I let him go back to San Diego, he’ll end up running from other things in life, won’t be able to hold a job, and won’t have the discipline to acquire many skills, and won’t be able to adapt to change. The middle school here is VERY different…VERY strict.
Sending Him to San Diego
I’ve also been told that if he stays here, he may fall deeper into depression. Yesterday morning, before school, both Carolyn and Nathan were crying because they hate it here. Nathan wants to go back, but Carolyn’s decided to stay, so sending him home would split them up for the first time ever, but the school in San Diego is VERY supportive of their students.
For his emotional well being, I feel he’d be better off in San Diego, but being without his mom…I don’t know.
Have you ever been in the position where, no matter what you choose, you’ll end up upsetting someone, and then, it gets to that point when you’ve listened to so many ideas, you forget which one’s your own?
Anyway, that’s where I’m at. Should he stay, or should he go?
Of course, I’m praying about it, but my confidence in hearing God correctly has diminished some. There’s SO MUCH behind the scenes going on, that you’re really not getting the clearest picture, but if you DO have some advice for me, I’d like to read it.
In the end, I guess it’s my mind to make up.