“Foreign Map”

all of a sudden
time’s standing still
every minute rolling by
to the next
thinking about
Carolyn and Nathan
and their first day of school

I think of their hearts
breaking
the disappointments
from expectations

kids have it tough though
their journey not their own
their fate
in the parents hands

I can’t help but think
how my decisions led them here
where they cry from depression
where the air’s empty of hope
where their face-to-face with friends
is on Snapchat

I know…
trust God
and keep moving
but in which direction

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I Wonder What the Bells Sound Like

Today is the first time (ever) that my kids aren’t excited for the first day of school, and it hurts all the mommy parts of my heart. Well, Carolyn’s a little excited, but that’s just so she can get out of the house.

New schools, no friends, new rules (and there’re A LOT of them), new pledge of allegiance (here, they have to pledge allegiance to the Texas flag, as well), new…everything.

Thankfully, we were blessed to get them new clothes, which was the only thing they got excited about. Life here’s just been very difficult, to say the least, but we each keep going.

There’s no telling what the end of the day will bring, but I’ll be ready to ask questions and listen to every part of their heart.

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Carolyn and Nathan on their first day of school. I just found out that, yesterday, Nathan broke down crying (AGAIN). This move has been horrible for him.